<< prev = comments [15] = pings [0] = next >>


good night, peter
08/08/2005 = 06:10 PM

ABC, I am officially done with you. I mean, I have been pretty much avoiding you since you canceled Kingdom Hospital anyway, but now you don't even have Peter Jennings to redeem you.

One time when I couldn't sleep, I was watching World News Now at 4:00 am, and there was no important news so the interns or whoever were doing the reports, and the kid at the desk was very professional and did a good job, but at the end of the program, he was all overcome: "I'm sitting where Peter Jennings sits. I'm doing news just like Peter Jennings." (opens drawer) "Peter Jennings has SNICKERS!"

That cracked my shit up. It's the sort of thing I would do.

I always sort of hoped they'd let him run for president, even though he was Canadian. He always seemed like the most informed person at the debates.

Plus, he was hot. Hot and informed. That's a boy-combo I can totally get behind.

Sigh.

I would also like to point out that he quit smoking twenty years ago. There may be no hope for me. Quit smoking, die anyway.

We've discovered a potential tenth planet in our solar system. People are wondering, with good reason, why the hell we never saw it before.

Apparently it all ties in with that whole thing about our suddenly having found out that other solar systems exist in our universe that have two or more suns.

When you've got planets and other space junk orbiting more than one central force, you've suddenly got to call into question such theories as accretion, which is what we've been basing our knowledge of our universe upon.

So, if solar systems can spring up and not all automatically be disklike in behavior and motion, one has to assume there might be planets outside of the disk area.

Which is where the possible tenth planet is (about 45° out of alignment with the rest of our planets) and which is why we never saw it before ... we never thought to look over there.

The Big Bang Theory, in other words, may have Jumped the Shark.

Considering the way my mind works, you'd think I'd be concerned about this being yet another Sign and Portent of the Approaching Apocalypse.

But I'm actually more concerned about this:

The other day I heard the Verizon "Can you hear me now? Good!" guy say, and I quote ...

"It's the network."

All three of which are words I've never heard him say before.

In fact, till that moment, I'd never heard him say anything other than "Can you hear me now? Good!"

He's like the Bird Lady in Mary Poppins (the book, which was far less insipid than the Disney film), who couldn't say anything other than "Feed the birds. Tuppence a bag."

Or, rather, he was.

Insert Twilight Zone theme here.

Peter Jennings, the Verizon guy, and a new planet. No wonder I never go anywhere without my towel.

"We interrupt this meal for the Armageddon."

drinking: full throttle energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink
listening to: Tchaikovsky's Marche Slave, Op.31 (conducted by Stokowski)
athena: would be a good name for the new planet