Ganked from Michael
Manning. It's so deliciously archaic. Jukeboxes. Heh.
There will be no tagging. If you want to play, you are very welcome to do so.
If not, I will still love you.
You will see a lot of classic rock on this list, because those are the most
ubiquitous selections on the jukeboxes in the sorts of places I frequent.
(But not The Wh♂, although I have been a huge fan for eons. I used to
play them, but it just makes people look around to see which television is showing
an episode of CSI.)
And now ... The List.
Shirley and Lee: Let the Good Times Roll. Here's
how to get a party started. I know I ought to like the Janis Joplin version
better, but I can't help myself: this recording is essential.
Boston: More Than a Feeling. There's just something
about three overproduced guitar tracks and four overproduced vocal tracks
that just go so well with salty snacks and beer. My heart sings along, my
brain gets happy, bring on the world.
ELO: D'Ya. More overproduction, but in that good
way. The crescendo right before the chorus is tuned to my spinal cord, not
a drop of dissonance throughout the song. Jukebox amplification just makes
it even better.
Chumbawumba: Tub-Thumper. Can you listen to this
song and not want to jump up and down like a little kid on a big bed?
Rolling Stones: Paint it Black. I know those aren't
kazoos, but I like to pretend they are. Unless they are, in which case, look
at me, I'm all musically astute.
Cheap Trick: I Want You to Want Me. If it's not
on the jukebox, I'll settle for Dream Police, but I Want You
to Want Me is powerful mojo, capable of turning a crappy day into a really
good night.
Elvis Presley: Suspicious Minds. Really, any Elvis
would do. But Suspicious Minds has that great backup singing thing
going on. It's a utility infielder, equally good on a bar juke or a Waffle
House juke.
Journey: Don't Stop Believing. It's a toss-up
between the rocking (back-and-forth, I mean — not as in "rock 'n'
roll") piano and the rockin' (rock 'n' roll, I mean — not as in
"back-and forth") guitar solos. This, incidentally, is not my favorite
Journey song, just the one that lends itself best to jukebox joy. The preceding
has been brought to you by the letter J.
Creedence Clearwater Revival: Bad Moon Rising.
Or Down on the Corner, or Fortunate Son, but Bad Moon Rising
is my favorite bar juke song by CCR because, of course, "There's a bad
moon on the rise" sounds an awful lot like "There's a bathroom on
the right," and I don't care, when I've been drinking, that's freakin'
hilarious.
Pat Benatar: Hit Me With Your Best Shot. If you
sing along with it loudly, boys will buy you drinks, no matter what you look
like.
Dear Idea for a Stage Play I Had Right After I Woke Up This Morning:
I'm sorry I had a pee first. Please come back.
Sincerely,
Golf "Damn My Tiny Bladder and My Water Intake" Widow
drinking: full throttle energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink
listening to: Kate Bush, King of the Mountain
elvis: are you out there somewhere
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