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bestiality's best, boys
12/27/2005 = 03:49 PM

And now ... Panda P0rn.

I had to post these here, because I didn't want to link to the original news story only to have the link eventually stop working, which would spoil my fun.

These came from China Daily. I cannot read the article, but apparently, although pandas do not conceive easily unless assisted via in-vitro fertilization, it doesn't stop them from giving it the ol' college try.

Performance pressure:
zookeepers taking notes.

Check out the smile on the male.

Performance pressure:
zookeepers with stopwatches.
(Zookeepers With Stopwatches
would be a good name
for a rock band.)

We went to see Narnia on the 25th. I'm not going to spoil the movie, except to say that, as usual, if you're a book-purist, you have no business at the movie theater anyway. Stay home.

I thought it was a lovely interpretation. The visuals were stunning. The production took advantage of the available technology to represent Talking Animals and Magical Creatures with dignity and humor, as opposed to just humor (or ridicule, as in the frightful costumery of the 1988 BBC production, which was the best adaptation available for its time).

I think what I liked best (and what book-purists will like least) is that the children were portrayed as more childlike and age-appropriate than the books, where they seemed more like miniature adults. In other words, the kids reached the same conclusions as they did in the book, but not by behaving as they had in the book.

The best performance was Tilda Swinton as the Witch. She was not whom I would have pictured in CS Lewis' books, but she was perfect for the characterization in this version.

You may be wondering what, if anything, any of this has to do with the title of this post.

Ahem.

Liam Neeson as the voice of Aslan.

Giving "mwrowr" a whole new meaning.

Talkin' 'bout, I now sort of understand what the boys in school were on about when they talked about Cheetara from Thundercats or the cat lady in the Hall and Oates Maneater video.

Worse even than that, I am now having Issues, because I'm somewhat crushing on Mr. Tumnus.

I don't know whether to go "mwrowr" or "maa-aa-ahh."

There, there. I know. You're disturbed. Trust me, no one's more disturbed by this than I am.

Anyway, the film. Do I recommend you go see it?

Well, we'd better have another look at that syntax.

In all conscience, I don't know if I'm going to recommend anyone go see a movie ever again.

The matinée is $9 per adult.

The matinée. The matin-fookin-ay.

I don't want to think of myself as a cheapskate, but this is a film that I am planning to own on DVD when it comes out. Even if it costs more than $20, it'll have paid for itself by the second time we watch it (at the very least), without even taking any DVD bonus features into account.

Furthermore, does the theater think we won't notice that they're selling the 99¢-sized bags of Swedish fish for $3.50 with one hand, whilst standing around eating cherry cheesecake from the Outside World with the other? Do they really believe I'm not going to say, Gee, what's wrong with the food that the employees won't even eat it?

As much as I personally love the experience of the darkened room, the popcorn smells, the Dolby surround-sound, and the whole concept of taking a trip (even a short one) to see a show, I am having a hard time justifying to others that the values of all of these features are equal to the extra money one must spend.

It can't all be going to the studios, because ticket and concession prices vary from region to region. Therefore, the theaters themselves seem to be the culprits.

And if I have a choice about giving my money to the studio (to pay the actors and crew for making the excellent movie I just saw), or giving my money to the theater (who don't love me enough to pause when I need to have a pee, or even when we leave our seats to be triple-charged for snack-replenishment), guess where I'd rather have my money go?

That said, do I recommend you see this movie, whether or not you go to the theater to do so?

Hell, yes.

drinking: fresca black cherry/citrus
listening to: Van Morrison, Into the Mystic
where we're meeting: the surly girl, just as soon as i get to c-bus