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for reals?
01/24/2006 = 03:26 PM

Dear Ashton Kutcher,

Get out here and own your shit. I know I'm being punked.

First, I got news that I won the weekly Everyday Hogwash, now I get the news that I've been nominated for the Bloggie Awards.

Ashton, if I see you, you're getting the toe of my stompy punkass boot so far up in your 'nards that you'll be able to taste them in the back of your throat.

Because I'm so overwhelmed right now, believing that people care enough about me, as a writer and as a person, to say, "Dammit, let's see her get some recognition," that I don't think I can take it if it turns out not to be real.

Sincerely,

Golf "Naw. Naw. Really? Really??" Widow

P.S. If I'm not being punked, then this is one of the most surreal weeks I've had in a long time.

P.P.S. Even if I'm not being punked, I still would like to kick you in the 'nards, 'cos you're very annoying.

Television executives, the supposedly-sentient beings who brought us the cancellation of West Wing, are currently in negotiations to air a televised reunion of Amy Fisher, the Long Island Lolita, with Joey Buttafuoco (the married adult who got his strange on with her whilst she was underaged) and his (now-ex) wife, Mary-Jo (Fisher's shooting-in-the-face victim, for those of you not up on your history).

And then they voted.

(Told you it was only a matter of time.)

If I'm not being punked, I've got to start pimping myself again, instead of taking a break. Being an attention whore is hard work.

Fortunately, Nrem, who was the victim of a traumatic typographical error, made a button to assist you in your voting duties. You know what to do, because you are smarter than television executives.

Oh, heavens, I've turned into one of The Nominated People With a Graphic on My Page.

But I'm still not going to smacktalk my fellow nominees. Attention whore or no, I'd rather still like myself when this is all said and done.

I am nominated in the category of "Best-Kept-Secret Weblogs", which is way the hell down by the bottom of the page, thereby insuring that I remain a well-kept secret.

Voting will be open till 10:00 PM EST on Tuesday, January 31.

drinking: boo-koo energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink
listening to: Aerosmith, Sweet Emotion
gratitude alert level: red