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snarkfestivale
02/09/2006 = 02:42 PM

I was going to write about Stuff I Don't Get, but who has that kind of time, right?

So here, instead, is Stuff I Don't Get Nearly Enough Of:

• Free food.
• Makeout sessions with younger men.
• Toys.
• Movie dates. I so want to see Snow Cake, and I so bet I won't get to.
• Jelly beans. Which could go under "free food," except that, when I said "free food," I was thinking more in terms of, like, pizza and things.
• Things that glow in the dark.

But tonight Nrem and I will be IMing whilst watching CSI.

Snark will be flung tonight, and into the faces of some of your favorites.

I would like not to have to resort to the snarkitude, but I'm afraid I have no choice in the matter, as tonight's programming is alleged to include some hot Freaky-Deaky-Bug-Man™-on-Lady-Heather action, and that is bound to irritate the blue fuck out of me, because, hello, that is MY Freaky-Deaky-Bug-Man™, thank you, Lady-I-Left-the-Bug-Man™-for-the-O.C.-and-Now-I'm-Crawling-Back-Heather.

(I just realized that having a woman crawl back to him, like, well, a Bug, would probably make the Freaky-Deaky-Bug-Man™ really happy. In the immortal words of, well, no one, really, shitfire and save matches.)

But anyway.

I am making wings with honey-teriyaki-hotcherrypepper-barbecue sauce for dinner, because That Man of Mine gets so aggravated by the ratio of deliciousity to messiness (off the charts, people).

Yes, he will bitch, "These are good, but I need, like, a bath now," and yes, I will then walk up to him and say, "I'm so glad you liked them," and kiss him with my sticky honey-teriyaki-hotcherrypepper-barbecue mouth, because I have ulterior motives for winging it: he can go shower whilst I get my chat on with Nrem and drool over my Bug Man™, which will keep him out of my hair.

drinking: peach fruit₂o
listening to: Zack Hexum, How Many Times
loving on: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~stujc/PM/index.html