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wtf
03/22/2006 = 06:03 AM

From the Ignorance, Thy Name is Golf Widow Files:

Every so often, I will write something less silly and more heartfelt, and Michael Manning will generally comment and include in his message the abbreviation "LOL."

< digression>
It's an abbreviation, not an acronym, because the initials are not used to spell a pronounceable word, such as SCUBA or NASA.
< /digression>

Anway, when he's done this, I'd know he meant well, so I'd try not to feel irritated, but usually I would, because who wants someone Laughing Out Loud when they've written something heartfelt?

Suddenly, the other day, I read one of his comments and realized that LOL no longer stands for "Laughing Out Loud," it now stands for "Lots Of Love."

I feel equal parts dopey and out-of-touch. Why did no one tell me of this change in the internacular?

Also, what combination of words are we now supposed to abbreviate when something strikes us funny?

Not that I abbreviate online all that much anyway. I'm not a big fan of the text messaging (arthritis in hands + tiny buttons; solve for X) and regular screens and instant message boxes have plenty of space for whole words now, so I feel that internet abbreviations are sort of, well, archaic.

.:ducks to avoid barrage of thrown cellphones:.

However, sometimes I like to make up new abbreviations just to fuck with people's heads.

One of my favorite (because it never spread around, which makes it incredibly quool and exclusive, shut up) internet abbreviations for "My goodness, what you have just typed certainly amused the holy fuck out of me" is MGWS, which might really stand for "Modular Guided Weapon System," but in my world, it stands for "Manic Giggles, With Snorting."

I am also fond of SCOK, which I have seen elsewhere, used either as "Spitting Coffee On Keyboard" or "Spitting Coke On Keyboard." Part of successful humor is having your audience identify with what has been communicated, and damned if I don't know what it's like to wipe spattered coffee off a keyboard or computer screen.

< new digression>
Hi, Trance. The Napoleon joke was stupid, but I adore it nonetheless. .:gets 409 and paper towels from cabinet:. Now I know why they call it "cough-ee." Oh, and feel better.
< /new digression>

I've also been known to make up useless abbreviations (useless as in, doesn't "abbreviate" mean "to make shorter?") on the spot, such as DWYHJCATCMSRTHUATTFS, which stands for "Damn, Woman, You Have Just Completely And Totally Cracked My Shit Right The Hell Up And Through The Fucking Stratosphere," and makes my hetero-lifemate reply "??"

My HLM (there's an abbreviation, okay? and it's distinctive from BFF, which, as near as I can tell, is Best Friends Forever, except that anyone, including a virtual stranger, can be your BFF) and I do use one standard abbreviation when chatting or instant messaging, and that's "LYMI," which stands for "Love Ya, Mean It." When we talk on the phone, we say it out, though, we don't spell letters at each other. Which is a smart play, because I love her (and mean it), but that will never change the fact that my hetero-lifemate is to spelling what Paris Hilton is to decorum.

Essentially, though, if you've really made me laugh, I'm more inclined to tell you so flat out than to abbreviate. I mean, "heh" is exactly the same quantity of letters as "lol," and a bit more clear in its intent. "BWAH!" is only two extra characters, but incredibly expressive, wouldn't you say?

And when I'm feeling the love, "mwah" or the slightly longer but more onomatopœic "schmwah" are just more, well, kiss-ish, than "LOL."

As for "mrwowr," I think we all know what I mean by that. Ahem.

Obviously, I am not cut out for interbreviation. You'll have to read my real words and translate them into their respective initial letters if you don't get it, or if you need to transmit them somewhere when you have a character limit.

Peace Out, Online People, You Hold Every Atom [of my] Delight.

Heh.

(P.S. LOL Michael.)

drinking: monster energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink
listening to: Busta Rhymes, As I Come Back
taco tuesday: preempted.