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look. up in the sky.
05/18/2006 = 07:17 AM

There's a corn muffin in the sky.

No, that's wrong. Wait.

It's a lemon drop.

Um, yeah. No.

Spoonful of mustard?

Not so much.

It's big, and yellow and round and bright. And sitting in the sky. You know, that place where all the rain falls down from.

I'm so confused.

But not as confused as Britney Spears, who has not only not figured out which way to put the kid into the car seat (although, to her credit, she is finally using one as opposed to holding the kid in her lap whilst driving) but also still thinks it's acceptable to be out in public with one's curlers still in. Hell, we peons even have more class than that.

I heard The DaVinci Code isn't a great movie. I wasn't expecting it to be. I figured it'd be overblown, overproduced, loud, and missing all the really good puzzly stuff that fried my brains whilst I was reading the book.

Which is pretty much what the critics are saying.

They're also saying Tom Hanks was miscast, but hey, Opie Dei — I mean, Ron Howard — likes him a lot, so it was sort of a giveaway. I do agree with the Mom, who was pushing for Hugh Laurie.

.:mrwowr:.

I mean, he'd have been more credible than Tom Hanks, in my opinion.

Anyway, am I going to go see it? Hells, yes. That Man of Mine never wants to take me to the movies, but he'll take me to this. And I'm kind of grateful that he doesn't want to see Mission Impossible III: Revenge of the Shit. Tom Hanks might be miscast in DaVinci, but I'm not as tired of him as I am of Tom Cruise.

Two facts:

• I won't be offended. It's a movie. It's not trying to convince me of a truth, it's trying to entertain me. If I want to learn something real, I'll watch History Channel or Discovery.
• We're eating first. 'Cos entertainment or no, I resent the holy fuck out of Grand Theft Popcorn.

I have new sandals and red toenail polish. Look out, Columbus.

Really. I'm not kidding. I also have toe rings. Fear me.

The Fugs just referred to Paris Hilton's nortybits as "her worst-kept secret."

Between that and their having said, the other day, that Aisha Tyler's dress was so short they could see her fallopian tubes, all I can reply is that people really need to be a whole lot more modest, 'cos they are being observed, and we are not as titillated as we are amused.

Tags: sun, Britney Spears, DaVinci Code, Columbus Ohio, charity, golf, Hanahoe Children's Clinic

It's that time of year again ...

CLICK!

If you donate to That Man's Paypal, he'll know who you are and tell me to put you on this year's shirt, but if you donate directly to the United Way or mail your donation directly to the clinic, I have no way of knowing what a nice thing you did unless you tell me. So note me or comment me and I'll add your name to the Shirt of Much Tackiness.

Here are my latest heroes:

Art
Boxx (locked - but ask her for a password)
Bud Buckley
Cabin-Boy
captive firefly (locked - but it couldn't hurt to ask)
Cosmic
Dixie
fuzzy-grey
HEIDI!!
Michael Manning
sallydallydo
trishtastic
warcrygirl

Click here to see the 2005 shirt

drinking: ice water
listening to: Johnny Cash, When I Stop Dreaming (unplugged)
maybe: it's a cheddar wheel