Last thing you burned while attempting to cook?
My wrist.
Describe yourself in three words:
Five minutes late.
How long does it take to get ready for your day?
Five minutes more than it ought to.
Favorite place to blow $50?
Comp USA
How many people have you thought were "the one"?
Oh, three or four. Which is quite a lot more than "one."
What is something that turns you off from the opposite sex?
Lack of common sense.
What kind of car do you drive?
I carpool. Remember when "green" only used to describe the paint
job on your car?
What's in your CD player right now?
I have no idea. I'm listening to the Firm on iPod. I haven't used my CD player
in a few months.
What celebrity would you have coffee with?
Jamie Hyneman. Also, I would make him eat something with powdered sugar so
his mustache would get all cokehead-looking.
What celebrity would you NOT have coffee with?
Britney Spears. I don't think she's responsible enough to handle hot beverages.
What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Crest Cinnamon.
What time do you usually go to bed?
Elevenish. But I usually don't fall asleep till about two. Then I wake up
around five.
Last movie you watched? Stripes. Boom-chugga-lugga-lugga.
Last TV show you watched? Digging for the Truth. Josh Bernstein pretty well proved, via DNA testing on a Merovingian queen, that The DaVinci Code is exactly what it was supposed to be (unlike A Million Tiny Pieces) — fantasy and adventure based on truth. Also, he rappelled down a rock, and rode a galloping white horse. Can I get a .:mrwowr:.?
Who is your best friend?
Depends for what purpose. I have friends who know my secrets, and other friends
who understand me, and other friends who read my mind a lot and freak me out,
et cetera, et cetera.
With whom in your family do you best get along? The Mom.
Whom do you have a crush on?
Oh, my gourd, stand in line. All you basically have to be is vaguely geeky
and I'm such your girl.
What time is it right now?
Now? Or now? What about now? It's always now. Except now. Now is past. So
it's then.
Are you planning a vacation/travel?
Eh, oh, oh, way to go, Ohio. I have to see if I have a crimson lipstick.
When/Where was the last time you traveled?
'S been a while. Gas prices, you know. Either we drove to Poughkeepsie and bought some beer, or we drove to Cooperstown and bought some beer.
How many times have you been in love?
For real in love? Princess Bride in love? Twice.
How old will you be in ten years?
Forty-five. Commence terrified meeping.
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Meeping in a terrified manner.
Sinful snacking weakness?
Pretzels. I can't quit 'em.
Roller Coasters?
Used to. Now the carney guys see the cane and they won't let me on. Dammit.
Ever run out of gas?
Jenn (rich spoiled friend) was driving, a really nice car purchased for her
by her father. I had no car; my dad wasn't rich. But I had to call my dad
nonetheless, because it was after midnight and her dad would have killed her.
My dad brought a can of gas, followed us to the gas station, and put $5.00
more into her tank. Jenn cried on the way home and said she loved my dad more
than she loved her dad.
Ever been on a train?
There's no better way to go into New York City. Who wants to navigate midtown
at rush hour?
Ever been on a blind date?
Yes. Brought to you by the letter Gah.
Ever been to Europe?
Yes, and I'd go back tomorrow.
What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for one day?
Drink a six-pack and find a really high dam to pee off of. There's no point
having a Get Out of Maturity Free Card and not making use of it.
Would you tell anyone it was really you?
Hell, no.
Ever been under arrest?
Not yet.
Have a crush on anyone you work with?
There was a time when I was a girl island in a departmental sea of very cute boys. I had
crushes on all of them.
What is something you believe in?
I believe I'll have another beer. No. Hrm. Oh, I know. If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you trouble.
What is something you fear?
Any creature, having more than four legs, that cannot be steamed and served
with drawn butter.
Big or small?
Big or small what? Fries? Small. Big gets cold before you finish them anyway.
What is the worst physical pain you have ever experienced?
Migraine? Close, but no. I had a thing in my ovaries that made me cry at work. It doesn't get much
worse than that.
What is your favorite television show?
Whatever's least annoying at the moment. Which doesn't narrow it down much
except to completely eliminate American Idol forever.
Ever photo-shopped yourself to look better in a picture?
I have, on occasion, blurred out the more flyaway bits of my hair when someone
has caught me with the frizzies.
Tell us something about your childhood:
I once rode my bike from West Haven to Milford along the shore route. At one
point, I nearly got hit by a car that was pulling out of a driveway without
looking; I swerved and fell, bashing the holy fuck out of my knee. Flash-forward
some fifteen years later: That Man of Mine and I were driving down New Haven
Avenue and I pointed out the spot where the holy-knee-bashing occurred, and
the Mom, who I'd forgotten was in the back seat, said, "You rode
your bicycle to Milford?!" Oops.
What would it cost you to flash the person next to you?
What would it cost me? Forget that. If I have to pay for the privilege
of showing them my gorgeous rack, screw it. They'd have to pay me.
Best time to catch you in a good mood?
Give me a shot of Bushmill's and wait five minutes.
If you could be anything for one day, what would it be?
A dolphin. I could still be smart, but I'd get to play and be cute.
Most prized possession?
My brain. Everything else is just stuff.
Would you ever sell it/how much?
Not for a squizzillion dollars.
What is one of your pet peeves?
Not bad grammar in general — I have grown to expect that — but
bad grammar from people (such as reporters and editors) who ought to know
better.
Favorite kind of ice cream?
Right now, I'm loving on Ben and Jerry's Vermonty Python. In general, I like
any ice cream with good texture; bits of crunchy things inside are also plusses.
What song are you listening to right now?
The Firm ended. Now I've got Rod Stewart, You're In My Heart
If you could sucker punch one person, whom would it be?
Gil Grissom. I know he's not real, but he needs a fast right to the jaw regardless.
Would you like to tell us one of your secrets?
I sent a postcard to Postsecret
and it didn't make their cut. I don't have juicy enough secrets.
How do you feel about nudity in films? Does the potential nudity
content affect whether or not you will see a movie? Have you ever seen a movie
that you would have liked better if it had less nudity in it?
Potential nudity content used not to affect whether or not I would see a movie,
but after having been exposed to Geoffrey Rush's nortybits in Quills, I now double-check
such things before heading to the theater or video store. Just because everybody's naked under
their clothes doesn't mean I necessarily want to see it. This also goes for
Graham Chapman in Life of Brian. I'm not saying he looked bad (he
didn't), I just would have been happier not going there.
If you donate to That Man's Paypal, he'll know who you are and
tell me to put you on this year's shirt, but if you donate directly to the United Way
or mail your donation directly to the clinic, I have no way of knowing what
a nice thing you did unless you tell me. So note me or comment me and I'll add
your name to the Shirt of Much Tackiness.
drinking: coffee. woman cannot live by ice water alone
listening to: Rod Stewart, You're In My Heart
panera recommendation: asiago bread. so good you forget to make a sandwich
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