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so how are you
08/17/2006 = 06:36 AM

Bruno Kirby died. I can't think of him without hearing his voice say, "If it spoke to you, then that pleases me," to Carrie Fisher (about a magazine article his character had written) in When Harry Met Sally.

(I can't help wondering if anything I write speaks to anyone but me. Time, I guess, will tell.)

And I'm glad he did say that line, 'cos otherwise I'd be hearing his voice say, "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?" which was what he said in City Slickers, and that's just obnoxious.

I rather hope he and Billy Crystal patched up the rift in their friendship before he died. The buddy chemistry between them was just so tight. I was sorry not to see them work together again.

You have all bought your copies of Cosmic's book, right? And are telling your local newsies and reviewers about it, right?

Because it's not just about the fact that Cosmic is a dear friend who always has your back. Really. Name one time Cosmic didn't have your back. See? You can't do it, 'cos it's never happened.

But it's not just because of that. And it's not just because of the fact that this is an amazing book by a strong woman with a riveting life's story and a compelling way with words.

It's about how you don't want to be in her next book as the evil lout who refused to buy a copy of her first book.

Because that will be the one that gets made into a movie.

And they will cast Kevin Federline to play you, and he will play you in drag if you are a woman, and he will tell the press that his acting will speak for itself. And it will. But what it will be saying is, Since this character has all the depth and soul of the stuff in the bottom of the pencil sharpener, Kevin Federline is perfectly cast.

My real-life friends' lives?

Are train wrecks.

And I'm getting really bloody tired of having them whine to me, asking me for advice (when, as we all know, what they really want is permission), and then not having any time or sympathy for me when I have a crisis.

Not that I have one. But if I did have one, I know I'd bring it here before I'd bring it to them. They're not great with the support. Except taking it. That they do really well.

The good news is, of course, that I do have a place to rant, should I need to. Melissa Manchester is full of shit. If you don't cry out loud, you get ulcers. She ought to be ashamed. But then, didn't she also sing Torn Between Two Lovers, which sounds like a ménage à trois gone physically very wrong indeed? Torn Between Two Lovers. Yeeeowch.

No?

I guess I have her mixed up with some other foolish "M" named singer of the '70s. Whatever. They're interchangable.

Really, though, I have no crises.

I burned my hand pretty badly in an equation involving kitchen plus arthritis. The good news is that, with my skin hurting this badly (and of course, it's my mousing slash writing hand), my joints aren't really bothering me at the moment.

Also, I just noticed that all of my Blog in Space certificates, including the latest one, have the word "hereby" spelled as "herby." Misspellers of the universe, untie.

The good news is that I got blasted into space again.

Also also, I had to spend two hours the other day teaching a new guy how to convert his pretty artwork into something uploadable, how to write code to hold it, and then had to find him an application for FTPing it, and teaching him to utilize said application, because the Help(less) Desk, otherwise known as The People Who Think I'm Incompetent Because I Have a Full Head of Hair and No Penis, got the original service ticket and considered their having replied to it by saying, "Okay, you're all set" constituted their having taken care of it and warranted their closing of the ticket.

The good news is that he not only understood what I taught him, he appears to have retained it, in the sense of his asking very pertinent questions and looking for additional information that I hadn't shown him yet. I love teaching people who want to learn.

Going along with the Help(less) Desk theme, I got an email from one of the product guys looking for help with an email application. I walked him through it and then asked, out of curiosity, why he hadn't called the Help Desk. The snort he gave in response let me know that I am not alone in my mutual contempt of the Bald Penisbearers, and that is always Good News.

Troy Turkish Kitchen got its closed on. The bastards. The good news is that its corpse has sprung, phoenixlike, from its ashes, with a new name (Saray) and a new owner, but the old guy is still there as manager. So we're going there for its grand opening on Friday, which, speaking of ashes, will be my Fourth Anniversary of Having Put Out My Last Cigarette and Not Taking One Single Puff Ever Since, Although There Have Been Days, Including Today, When I Really Fucking Wanted One.

By the way, that's one more thing I have to thank Cosmic for, because the reason I quit when I did was in solidarity, as she had to be smoke-free at least three weeks in preparation for a medical procedure. So I don't know if Cosmic saved my life, but she certainly seems to have saved me an assload of money, which is worth buying her book with any old day.

Tags: books

drinking: superman energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink
listening to: Yes, Your Move
favorite misspelling of the day (tied with herby): "stucture"