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fries with that
08/20/2006 = 02:12 PM

Dear Cosmic:

Garry Moore did I've Got a Secret, not What's My Line?

Love,

Golf "When Two Patterns Combine in a Manner Sublime, That's a Moiré" Widow

Dear Michael:

Kitty Carlisle, Peggy Cass, Orson Bean, and "Will the real so-and-so please stand up?" were all from To Tell the Truth, not from either I've Got a Secret OR What's My Line?

LOL,

Golf "When a Canadian Shows You His Mother, He Goes, 'That's My Maw, Eh?'" Widow

From the He's Listening as Well as He Ever Did Department:

Me: Pick that Wendy's bag up off my dining room chair. It's all greasy.
Him: I'm just gonna leave it there for a second.
Me: Put it on the table or the counter. You'll sit on it.
Him: I'm coming right back. Calm down. (goes downstairs to check mail; comes back)
Me: You're going to sit on that bag. ... You're about to sit on that bag, that you were going to move off the chair. ... Your butt is about an inch above the bag that contains your dinner.
Him (jumping up): Shit!
Me (innocently): Oh, did you just sit on that Wendy's bag that was on the chair?
Him (peering ruefully into the bag): Ass burgers.
Me: Right, like you're such an expert. It can take years for doctors to make that diagnosis. (Laughing uproariously whilst being looked at like the alien I am by the Man Who Doesn't Listen)

Maybe you had to hear it said out loud.

My apologies to anyone who suffers from the real Asperger's syndrome — no offense was meant by either myself or Captain Fast Food.

Actually, if he'd been slightly more clever, he'd have come back at me with something about sesame buns, but such was not the case. Another wasted opportunity for brain confetti.

But then, of course, there was this:

SCENE: AISLE IN MAJOR SUPERMARKET

(Himself has just engaged in an outbreak of loud, noxious methane emission)
Me: That's disgusting!
Him: Relax. No one's around.
Me: And if they were, you've killed any witnesses, so I guess it's okay.

The Virtual Pampered Chef Party is still in full swing for another few days, so get your surf on, then, if you actually want to order something, email me if it's okay for me to send your email address to Amy, who will then take your order and tell you how to pay. Her page isn't going to be done before the catalog close-date, but it will be up shortly thereafter, so I'll throw another online party in a few months. That'll give me some time to round up  more male strippers some party prizes.

http://www.pamperedchef.com/our_products/catalog/catalog.jsp

New podcast is up. You can subscribe, download, whatever, from podomatic, or you can get it right over to your iTunes from here.

Tags: That's Amore, Pampered Chef, podcast

drinking: la fin du monde
listening to: debussy
today's girly purchase: sparkly shoes for my brother's wedding in november