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meme immunity
10/02/2006 = 03:19 PM

Hi. Been busy.

Did a podcast, wrote a book.

Podcast here: http://golfwidow.podomatic.com. New format ... if I stick with this method, I'll have content for the rest of my podcareer. Yay.

Book here: http://www.lulu.com/golfwidow. You don't really have to buy it, but you could tell other people to buy it for you.

I give you ... complete lack of content.

Swiped from just about everybody.

If someone has tagged you with either of these, you have just been inoculated and are now immune.

Do you hate more than three people? I would say Villanova counts as more than three.

What is your favorite candy bar? Hershey's Whatchamacallit.

What are your favorite shoes? Stompy punkass boots.

Have you ever tripped someone? If anyone's ever tripped you, you know how you perceive that person for the rest of your life, even if they apologize and say they were "just kidding" or "it was an accident." Think about that next time you feel like sticking your foot out.

Do you own a Britney Spears CD? If I had to no choice but to buy a Britney Spears CD in order to protect a priceless antique table from my drink because there were no coasters, I'd sooner die of thirst.

Have you ever thrown up in public? I have already told this story on myself more than once, but it bears repeating because it is a word to the wise. Do not drink punch made with an entire fifth of gin when you are ravingly thirsty. You will finish the pitcher and review inputs so shortly thereafter that the output will still be cold from the ice in the punch. But I made an important discovery: I didn't really care that much about those shoes after all.

What is your favorite music genre? Today? Progressive rock. Ozric, specifically. Tomorrow? Who knows.

What is your sign? Based on traditional astrology, I'm an Aries, but I traded that in to get a new sign. I'm now a Parrot, with Lobster rising.

What time were you born? About 5:30 pm, I'm told. I couldn't tell time yet.

Do you like beer? I like good beer. I'd rather drink water or soda than bad beer.

Have you ever made a prank call? The kids I hung out with used to do that all the time, but I always felt guilty about it. I can say with somewhat of a clear conscience that I never made one by myself, of my own accord, and I never dialed or spoke when the other kids would do it. On the other hand, I once sent My Friend Who Isn't But Is Sort Of a prank email, and that might count. Except that he knew it was from me.

What is the most embarrassing CD you own? I think it's Barry Manilow's boxed set. Shut up. Barry Manilow was Keith's favorite ever. I miss Keith.

Are you sarcastic? How can one possibly answer this question? If one is, genuinely, sarcastic, one will obviously answer, "No." But on the other hand, if one is not sarcastic, one will answer honestly, "No." How can the reader know one's intent? Anyway, am I sarcastic? No. Of course not. (Now guess if I was being sarcastic when I said that.)

What are your favorite colors? I like jewel-tones. Dark, bright purples, blues, greens, magentas. I also like pastels. I can take or leave primary colors.

How many watches do you own? Three. One I wear and two need batteries, but they're cute.

Summer or winter? Winter.

Spring or fall? Autumn. I can fall any old time.

What is your favorite color to wear? I like dark colors or grays, but I also have this really bright blue shirt which I never would have bought for myself, that, whenever I wear it, everyone's always telling me how good I look.

Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite (between those two), but given a real choice, hand over the diet Coke.

What color is your cell phone? Black.

Have you ever slapped someone? On the hands, many times. People really feel obligated to steal from my plate if I'm not eating fast enough for them. In the face, never.

Have you ever had a cavity? Not one, ever. I've been pretty fortunate, dentally-speaking.

How many lamps are in your bedroom? Three: one on the dresser, one on the shelf, and a clip-on gooseneck on my desk. There's no light source in my bedroom other than the window, and I like to read. Let there be light.

How many video games do you own? Zero. I play Minesweeper sometimes. I'm white and nerdy. (© "Weird" Al Yankovic)

What was your first pet? Probably a frog I caught outside, and put into a mayonnaise jar with grass, and probably named Kermit.

Have you ever had braces? No. I begged for them, but my teeth were disgustingly straight.

Do looks matter? Yes. However, that said, given a choice between a male model who's really stupid and a goofy-looking intelligent guy with a great sense of humor, the goofy-looking guy is actually going to wind up looking better and better to me the more we communicate.

Do you use Chapstick? I use Burt's Bees Lip balm, and thank heavens, because without it, you could strike matches on my lips.

American Eagle or Abercrombie? Yeah. No. I'm fat and poor. I wear what fits, is clean, and doesn't itch.

Are you too forgiving? More of others than myself, but by the same token, just because I've forgiven someone for what they've done in the past does not mean I'm going to give them any opportunity to do it again.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? A few Happy Bunny, Futurama, and Adult Swim pins, postcards, and other swaggy-type things I just couldn't resist.

What is your favorite breakfast? At breakfast-time? A morning-glory muffin and a cup of coffee. At three am social hour? Whatever house omelette the diner is famous for, home fries, and an English muffin. And coffee. At Waffle House? Hashed browns scattered, smothered, covered, and topped (that means spread out over the plate, with onions, grated cheese, and chili). And coffee.

Do you own a gun? A glue gun.

When was the last time you cried? Watched The Green Mile the other night.

What did you do three nights ago? Watched old episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway? so I could get my Brad Sherwood on. You are so jealous of my energy levels and my A-list social life.

When was the last time you went to Olive Garden? A couple of weeks ago. That Man of Mine likes the Never-Ending Pasta Bowl.

Have you ever called your teacher mom? No, but I did once call The Mom by the name of my third grade teacher. Since she was yelling at me at the time, it was an honest mistake.

Have you ever been in a castle? A few. They like stairs an awful lot. I always sort of wanted to live in one, but not have to climb that many stairs.

What are your nicknames? That Man of Mine calls me Pumpkin sometimes, but he's out of his gourd. My Friend Who Isn't But Is Sort Of calls me Chickie, to which I have no choice but to respond, "Peep."

Do you know anyone named Bertha? She's a good girl.

Have you ever been to Hawaii? No. Do I care? Not so much.

Do you own something from Banana Republic? I had a green sweatshirt from there. It wasn't any warmer than all the less expensive or trendy sweatshirts I've owned over the years.

Are you happy with your life right now? It sure beats the alternative.

Does anyone like you? You mean, like, LIKE like? I hope That Man of Mine does. Other than that, probably not.

What were you doing May of 1994? Having sex with someone completely inappropriate.

McDonald's or Wendy's? McDonald's at least gives me what I've ordered. Wendy's is 0 for 4 and they get no more chances from me.

Do you like yourself? Yeah. I like bizarre people.

Favorite feature of the opposite sex? Nice facial bone structure.

Are you afraid of the dark? I'm afraid to move in complete darkness, because I don't like pain (running into something, falling down, what have you) but I'm not afraid something's going to come eat my toes or anything.

Have you ever eaten paste? The first time I heard about "eating paste," I did surreptitiously lick my finger during a kindergarten art class to see what the brouhaha was about. Paste is minty. It wasn't good enough to make a meal of.

Do you have a webcam? No.

Have you ever stripped? For money? No. Would I if I had a good enough body? Yeah.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Over the Hedge, I think. I don't get to "go" to the movies often enough.

What are your favorite TV shows? Cash Cab, No Reservations, Digging for the Truth, Nova, and I am, though I hate to admit it, digging on Ace of Cakes. I also sort of adore the new I've Got a Secret, with the all-gay all-the-time panel. It's so cute. I just wish they had more episodes. They have no more secrets from me.

What did you have for breakfast? Full Throttle energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink. And coffee.

What is your middle name? I change it a lot, and put it in quotation marks, as in Golf "Does Anyone Really Care What My Middle Name Is?" Widow.

What foods do you dislike? Peas, root beer, and pickled herring. Also not crazy about alfredo sauce. It's sort of like paste, but not minty.

What is your favorite CD at the moment? Kula Shaker, Peasants, Pigs, and Astronauts

Favorite sandwich? Depends on what I'm in the mood for. Right now I'd have to say a D'Angelo's #9, add hot peppers.

What are your favorite clothes? Ones that fit, which means, nothing in my current wardrobe.

What color is your bathroom? Walls are off-white. Current shower curtain is navy blue. Towels are whatever was on the top of the stack. Pretend I'm eclectic and not just too lazy to color-coordinate.

Favorite brand of clothing? A long time ago, such things used to matter to me.

Where would you want to retire to? Someplace that's not work. Other than that, I just want to have a home to come back to, and I'll travel whenever I want to see someplace that's not home.

Favorite time of day? Naptime.

What did you want to be when you were little? A writer.

What is your best childhood memory? My dad got me a stuffed plush doll because he remembered that I said I didn't like dolls because they were hard. I named her Kimberly. I still have her, even though most of her features are long since loved off.

Eye Color? Brownish. (They're still mostly brown, but the older I get, the lighter they get. I think my eyeballs are going gray.)

Ever been toilet papering? I've walked around town with the people who were actively doing it. Never actually TPd anything myself. This is not because I had guilt, but because I couldn't throw the roll high enough to catch on anything decent.

Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

Next one.

1. Where is your dad right now? At home with the Mom and, if I know him, he's got the TV too loud.
2. Last time you saw the person you liked. Oh my lowered, this is so twelve. That Man of Mine is in the other room.
3. What is something you've learned recently? A colleague of mine who is long of hair and shaggy of beard was once greeted at a conference by another colleague of mine, who hadn't met him before and showed him where the copier was so he could fix it. It took quite a bit of convincing to make colleague B realize that Colleague Longhaired Hippy was actually a guest of the conference. Heh.
4. What color is your watch? 14 karat gold.
5. Do you like anyone? Didn't we just cover this?
6. Are you close to your mom? Yeah, we're pretty tight. I like her. She's a great person.
7. Where does your best friend work? She's a teaching assistant at the university where she's working on her masters.
8. What are you listening to right now? Opeth. The guy sounds like Cookie Monster, but not in that good way. The jury's still out.
9. What do you smell like? .:sniff:. Givenchy Very Irresistible.
10. What color are your pants? I'm wearing pajama bottoms and a camisole. My pajama bottoms are blue plaid flannel. The camisole is light blue.
11. Do you have a roommate? My husband and I live with a ton of baseball cards, golf clubs, books, and a few penguins.
12. What color is your bedroom floor? Mauve carpeting. Which I swear I am replacing someday. I'm not a mauve sort of person.
13. Do you have a chair in your room? I actually have two: one by the window and one at the computer.
14. What time of day were you born? Already covered.
15. Do you know anyone who is engaged? My brother. He's getting married in the beginning of November.
16. What is your favorite number? Six. Of one. Half a dozen of the other.
17. Do you know someone named Lori? My favorite Lori in the world passed away a few years ago and knocked my world upside down. I miss the hell out of her.
18. What color is your mom's hair? Silver. It's very pretty.
19. Do you have a dog? It's hard enough keeping That Man of Mine from piddling on the rug.
20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? The Mom taught me to sing Dite Moi Pourquoi from South Pacific when I was an extremely tiny kid. I imagine it was very cute. I also learned the first voice of the Fugue for Tinhorns from Guys and Dolls and that one used to tickle the hell out of my grampa, 'cos what's funnier than hearing a tiny kid belt out, "I got the horse right here, his name's Paul Revere ..." I sang a lot because people told me I had a good voice. But they might have just been being nice.
21. When was the last time you went swimming? I regret to say that even if I had a bathing suit that fit, I'd be ashamed to be seen in it.
22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? I only have one who's not an in-law. Haven't talked-by-voice to him in a while, but we've been emailing back and forth with some frequency as his wedding day approaches.
23. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Uncoordinated me went to sports camp. That was a horrible fit if I ever saw one. The same camp had a performing arts camp that would have suited my fancy better, but I think it was more expensive.
24. Do you play an instrument? Not anymore. I used to play flute, piano, bad trumpet, better baritone horn ... I got arthritis. I'm thinking of buying a kazoo.
25. Do you like fire? Fire is warm and exciting, and then it's hot and dangerous, and then it's out of control and painful. How like life itself.
26. Are you allergic to anything? Just about every medication that would help me cope with my life a lot better than I currently do. I'm also allergic to two of my favorite foods: chocolate and milk; and the adhesive on bandages; and aluminum products, which means I can't use certain antiperspirants. I'm fun.
27. When was the last time you cried? Did that.
28. What kind of shampoo do you use? Got 2 B. I forget which one. It's citrusy. I use the "In Therapy" conditioner with it because it's vanilla mint.
29. Have you ever been to a spa? I can't sit still with goop all over and not have a book, I'll die of boredom.
30. Did you take science all four years of high school? I fulfilled my science requirements by junior year. If my school had had astronomy or archaeology, I'd have taken one or both of those during senior year, but they didn't.
31. Do you like butterflies? Butterflies can dress as cute as they want, but they're still bugs and I don't like bugs.
32. Do you like Coke or Pepsi more? Did we cover this? Close. Not quite. I'm a Coke girl but I like a lot of Pepsi products. I'm not hardcore cola, to be perfectly honest.
33. What is one thing you miss about your past? My cute cheerleader butt.
34. Did you ever see the school nurse? Constantly. I owned strep throat.
35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? I don't have the patience to be a good teacher all the time. But if I did have that patience, that's just what I'd be doing.
36. What things have you learned about life? Death has to happen so that life won't be taken for granted. But no one has really explained to me why it's so bad to take life for granted. Fuck it. Have fun, be nice, look at the things that make you say, "Wow!" and you'll be getting on with your life the way you're supposed to.
37. Are you jealous of anyone? Pretty much everyone. I'm bad to covet.
38. Is there anyone jealous of you? I don't think so. They'd certainly have no reason to be.
39. Ever been stuck in an elevator? No. Have I had sex in an elevator that wasn't stuck and could actually have opened on a public venue at any second? I plead the fifth. My mother reads this thing.
40. What does your dad call you? A whole lot of things, some of which are actually my name and not someone else's.
41. What does your mom call you? When she's not exasperated with me, my name. When she is exasperated with me, she has been known to accidentally call me by the name of another family member who is vastly annoying. Now I come to think of it, I wonder how accidental that is.
42. What does you hair look like right now? Remember Kelly LeBrock in the "Don't hate me 'cos I'm beautiful" shampoo commercials? My hair looks like the stuff that got left in her brush because of the split ends she had before she started using the product she was endorsing.
43. Has a friend ever used you? A real friend? No. Someone I thought was a friend till the usage happened? Yeah, a few times. I am that gullible.
44. Has anyone recently told you that they like you as more than a friend? How recently? The last time I heard that from anyone was a good seven years ago. I married him.
45. What have you eaten today? Nothing yet. I have had an awful lot of ice water, coffee, and am currently on my second beer. However, tonight's dinner is chicken with my infamous honey hot-cherry-pepper teriyaki glaze, deadly mashed potatoes, and sliced cucumber salad with key-lime-ginger mustard vinaigrette. Ask your mom if you can eat over.
46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight? Mostly wavy, chance of scattered frizzies.
47. Ever been called white trash? I have referred to myself as such, usually while eating something bad for me like biscuits and gravy, or chili-cheese fries.
48. Last person you were in a car with? That Man of Mine.
49. What are you looking forward to? Happy Feet. Yay penguin movies.
50. What is your favorite color? Covered already. How anti-climatic.

Tags: podcast, memes

drinking: la fin
listening to: Opeth, To Bid You Farewell
the latest podcast: has a new format, i said. go listen