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crabby cakes
10/25/2006 = 05:33 AM

Dear Employee at Hotel That Shall Remain Nameless, but It Is On the Waterfront, in Baltimore:

If I'd known you were gonna screw up have so much trouble canceling that reservation, I'd have checked into the room myself, for Pete's sake.

I mean, hello. Crab cakes. Not to mention cake without crabs. Not to mention all the diary peeps. Don't you think I deserve a little assholery, room reservationists aside?

Sincerely,

Golf "When I Was in this Industry, We Used to Do the Work for Our Customers, Not Make Them Do It Themselves, And If We Didn't Know How, We Called a Supervisor" Widow

P.S. Also, if you're going to say, "I don't know what to do, but I can't transfer you to someone who does, you just have to call this number," please have it be a number that I can use, as opposed to the telephone number of an innocent woman who works in a bank and has nothing to do with hotels, reservations, or assholes unless she ever needs to check into your establishment herself.

Dear Women in My Office:

The following are a few simple procedures that will ensure a happy ladies' room experience for all of us.

How to Flush the Toilet:

1. Press that shiny thing downward.
2. There is No Step 2.

REALLY Sincerely,

Golf "Indoor Plumbing — Embrace the Concept" Widow

P.S. Ew.

P.P.S. Ew.

Tags: hotel, indoor plumbing

drinking: purple juice. i needed a smallkid fix.
listening to: Charlie Daniels, Uneasy Rider
also: ew