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furtherthanks
11/26/2006 = 08:09 AM

Things I am Thankful For, the Sincere Version:

• That Christmas Story Cingular commercial. Nope, not sick of it yet.

• In more exciting Christmas Story news, some guy bought the house from the movie, refurbished it to its original appearance, and is opening it for tours. He bought the house across the street, also for sale, to use as a gift shop and a museum. Amongst the items housed therein is The "I Can't Put My Arms Down!" Snowsuit.

No word on the "It's Smiling At Me" duck.

But, I mean. Really. How great is that?

If I'm ever in Cleveland around Christmastime (or Hanukkahtime, or Kwanzaatime, or Solsticetime, or Festivus-for-the-Rest-of-Us-Time, or Eid-Time), I'm going to that house, and then I'm having Chinese food afterward.

And that will be present enough for me.

Which is good, because all I want for Christmas is you.

(But everyone keeps telling me you'll shoot my eye out.)

• Julius "Nipsey" Russell.

From his birth records, even. I feel like I can finally let it go once and for all.

• I still have the mystery of "What's Scoey Mitchlll's real name?" to look forward to.

• I ran with scissors yesterday, to no ill-effect.

More literally, I went to brush my hair and noticed that, with the extra B12 I've been taking over the past year, all my brittle, lifeless hair seems to be pretty much gone and I had picked up a kickin' headful of shiny, healthy hair for the first time in at least two years. Also, it's all thick again. Man, I missed that.

B12, you're the hero of the year.

Woo, shiny hair.

But it was just lying there, flat. So I grabbed the scissors and ran.

Half an hour later: long, loose layers framing my face.

Whether I put in product and blow it into a structured, polished style or towel-dry it and leave it alone, I've suddenly got volume without my hair being, you know, '80s huge.

Oh, I feel so amazing.

Boys probably have no idea what I'm talking about here: that sheer relief of knowing that, no matter where you are or what you're doing, the one thing you don't have to worry about is whether or not your hair looks good. 'Cos it's fierce.

I feel like a spy must feel when the villain says, "Tell me ze secret code," and the spy tells him the exact code in a bored tone, and the villain says, "Do you take me for ze fool?" because the spy's reputation for sarcasm precedes me — I mean, her.

All I need is a tuxedo and a martini.

Oh, fuck it. Gimme a penguin and a beer.

• Jersey Girl. Shut up. That is one of the most charming movies I have ever seen, and if you ever thought George Carlin could bring me to tears, not of laughter, with the delivery of one poignant line toward the end, I'd've been right along there with you. Kevin Smith? Still my hero. (Despite the whole supporting of the J-Lo Bennifer goat rodeo. Hey, you were just having your friend's back, and I respect that.)

• The WKRP Turkey Drop. You can usually find it on You Tube. I did put a copy onto my fakey Live Journal page.

• Leftovers? Gone. Gourd bless That Man of Mine and his humongous appetite. He even polished off the plate I put aside for his mother, so now I have two funny stories to tell on him.

That was the first one. Here is the second:

Him (embracing me): Ow!
Me: What's wrong?
Him: I think I pulled something when I was kissing you.
Me: Honey, you ain't the first man to say that to me.

(Hush, Mom. You know you wouldn't have let that line go, either. Own it.)

• I truly believe Andy Martello is a bad influence on me. If you listen to the podcast this week, you will hear me use a lot of words that — well, not a lot of words, as such, but a lot of instances of the word that Ralphie used when he dropped the lug nuts — I didn't use so much before Andy became my Partner in Crime.

If you don't listen to the podcast this week, it'll still be up next week, when next week's episode goes up, so you can get them both then and listen to them back-to-back.

Not listening to it at all? Well, that's an option, I suppose. Never really considered it.

But, you know. If you don't want the opportunity to be informed and in-the-loop on a variety of interesting and thought-provoking topics who Speedy is, go ahead and don't listen. It's up to you.

Seriously, I am grateful to Andy Martello for rescuing my podcast out of the depths of the Suck, and giving it the artificial respiration of interesting and funny without pulling off the bikini top of my own personality or getting sand in the thong of my intelligence.

Here, by the way, is the only place you will ever experience me describing myself in a thong and a bikini top. Just in case you, too, were looking for something to be thankful for.

Tags: Thanksgiving, Christmas Story, podcast

drinking: furtherthanks, coffee
listening to: furtherthanks, Roberta Flack, Feel Like Making Love
tonight's tv: furtherthanks, gsn's match game retrospective