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all generalizations are bad ...
01/20/2007 = 06:46 AM

... including this one.

The title of this post, combined with the opening line, comprise a quotation that's been attributed to so many people, I don't know which is the real source, so I'm not going to favor one originator over another; I'll just say that I stole it and that I'm not sure from whom.

All I really wanted to say is that I'm sick of the phrase "Best" [fill in the blank] "EVER," despite the fact that it appears to be at the height of its popularity.

Proclaimers of "best EVER" on items that aren't even the best example this week comprise the Confederacy of Hip — they're printing up pop currency, which raises inflation and lowers the value of the original phrase. Before long, someone's going to discover something amazing, only to find that no one cares because someone else used the phrase "best ever" just once too many times about something that was only "pretty good."

Thank you.

Now, having gotten all that out of the way, I'd like to say that, if you follow this link, it does not lead to the best story ever. But it is one I sure wish I'd written. So I hope that says enough about it that you'll click on it and read it even if I don't tout it as "best ever."

Every day is a gift.

Don't wish it away. Don't look at it like it's forever.

And so on, and so on, and blah blah don't-only-work-for-the-weekend-cakes.

Well, sorry, but when we get to the point where it's dark when I go to work and dark when I get home, and I'm busy as all git-out, I can't help but have what spare thought-time I have at my job be terribly focused on my cuddly soft sweats, waiting at home for me, but forbidding me to enter whilst still wearing my bra.

I'm not wishing anything away, as such. I prefer to think of it as "rushing to get to the part where my job is not as high of priority as my self."

I watched not a single drop of American Idol and my life has been all the richer for it.

Furthermore, avoiding American Idol left my brain cells free for last weekend's really old episode of Match Game, featuring a really young, freshly-graduated and hugely-haired Donny Deutsch as a contestant.

So now I want to know if Donny Deutsch's experience on Match Game prepared him for his current lifestyle, and if he donates any money to animal causes, seeing that Betty White kissed him and that had to have been pretty good luck, no?

Also, in the alternate universe that is my brain on confetti, I wish the anchor panelist on the Donny Deutsch episode of Match Game had been Patti Deutsch. Just imagine how delicious that would have been. Especially in light of the fact that Patti Deutsch's husband's first name is ...

... Donald.

(Pity his last name is Ross, or I could have inserted the Twilight Zone theme here.)

Dear Witty One:

I talk to myself too. Stop saying "dork" like it's a bad thing.

Sincerely,

Golf "I Do Love Me Some Intelligent Conversation" Widow

Dear Dave "Imponderables Guy" Feldman:

I'm calling you out, man. I read your books. Now you read mine.

Sincerely,

Golf "Fair's Fair" Widow.

New podcast is up. You can listen to it streamed on the Pod-O-Matic site if you don't own an iPod, but you have to listen, because we want YOU to want US.

Tags: Donny Deutsch, Imponderables, podcast

drinking: coffee
listening to: Danny Lanzetta reading about Bill O'Reilly
this week's sad: that art buchwald died before I got up the bottles to phone him and say hello