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weekendy bits
02/03/2007 = 11:48 AM

Look at me, I'm all brain confetti.

Perky the duck: She's hurt, and can't work, right? So, if we set her up with AFLAC insurance, will she get compensation, or will she just get laid by the Gilbert Gottfried duck?

Nah, only eggs get laid.

.:ba-DUM-boom:.

If the guy in the Suzuki ad's parachute didn't open and he were to get his splat on, I'd want that to take place in that lady's living room, so she could take her Woolite thingie and clean up the mess.

Just squeeze, rub, groom, and done.

Which also sounds a bit like p0rn.

Conversation of the Week:

Coworker: Can you look up [inaccessible information] for [other coworker]?
Me: No, he has to call the source; we don't have access.
Coworker: He said you could look it up.
Me: I can call the source for him if he doesn't want to, but no, we really don't have access to their system ourselves.
Coworker: I'll just tell him he doesn't know what he's talking about.
Me: Don't bother — he already knows that.

And here is the runner-up for Conversation of the Week:

My Friend Who Isn't But Is Sort Of (singing): "Oh, Fab, I'm glad, there's lemon-freshened borax in you!"
Me: Thank goodness you're here, Captain Throwback.

Somehow I've gotten onto a Glurgelist belonging to an otherwise sane friend who shall remain nameless.

Nameless Friend brings the Glurge (complete with heaps of greater-than signs) at least twice a month.

Last one was a variation on the ol' An Angel Is Watching Over You theme.

I'm telling you. If I could get paid by the >>>, I'd retire.

How Nameless Friend, a brilliant programmer and one of the smartest people I know, has not yet mastered the art of proper email formatting, let alone forwarding etiquette, baffles the mind.

I can only hope that, someday, she will settle down to only emailing people when she has something interesting to share and not because she's worried that if she doesn't pass the Glurge to five million of her closest friends, she will burn burn burn in the Ring of Fire.

Studio 60 has jumped the snake. Vipers, specifically.

I'm sorry, there's just so much I can take before finding a better means of occupying my time, Brad Whitford notwithstanding.

New podcast = up. If you gave us a punchline for our joke, you'll definitely want to listen to see if we played it.

Tags: brain confetti, podcast

drinking: coffee
listening to: Bye Bye Birdie Broadway soundrack
today's breakfast math: scrambled eggs + jalapeños = agita