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ginseng-along
05/24/2007 = 04:56 PM

So I have this bottle of Korean red ginseng extract liquid.

It's teensy, about three ounces, but it hasn't got much English on it, and what it does have is about as understandable to me as the Korean.

I got it at the OMG Asian Store. The polite bubble tea dude told me it tastes bad, but it's very good for you.

My Friend Who Isn't But Is Sort Of, who is usually game to try anything, refuses to split it with me. Says I'm on my own.

I'm skeered.

You guys are going to have to sit here with me and see how I do.

Bottoms up.

Hrm. Sort of like unsweet tea (Southern U.S. for iced black tea without sugar), with a hint of cinnamon. I was not nearly as grossed out by it as — I think — everyone was sort of hoping I'd be. They all seem rather let down.

The real test will, of course, be how much brain confetti it generates how my system reacts to it.

8:15 am: My Friend Who Isn't But Is Sort Of got us a can of No Fear energy beverage fizzy-lifting drink to split, presumably to help get the taste out of my mouth. I'm somewhat concerned with counteractions between the ingredients, but not enough to not drink my share of the No Fear, 'cos I love me some energy beverages fizzy-lifting drinks with lizards on the cans.

I don't know whether to be more geeked over the fact that they've developed the first bit of what may wind up being the technology they'll use to search Jupiter's moon Europa for undersea life, or the fact that Chris McKay has finally shaved off that messy old beard and looks kind of hot.

Basically, the nerds think I'm too frivolous and the cool kids think I'm too geeky.

I thrust my tongue defiantly in everyone's general direction and blow resonant raspberries. I don't love everything about my life, but I sure do love being me.

10:45 am: I'm not sure whether or not I'm actually more productive (I'm pretty sure I am, based on how many emails I've followed up, calls I've returned, spreadsheets I've updated, orders I've approved, faxes I've sent, and perky smiles I've aimed at the Scowling Masses), but I have written a comment on the Dog Eat Doug home page that says that I haven't eaten crayons in over an hour, and I think that ought to count for something.

12 noon: I have sent, in the past hour, three emails to people heaping unwarranted abuse on my sorry head, and all three emails have been full of helpfulness, accurate and timely responses, sunshine, and light, with nary a word about how their shitstorms are landing on entirely the wrong region of their personal and professional weathermaps.

This is definitely a side effect of the ginseng (possibly coupled with the No Fear), because on any other day I'd be too pissed at their respective unfairnesses to respond to their bitching-at-the-wrong-party till well into the afternoon, and I'd probably be more inclined to direct them to the person who actually fucked them up (thus delaying them further) than to have done what I did in all three cases: followed up with the fuckups, gotten answers, and closed all three issues.

I wonder if I can start expensing the ginseng.

I'm hungry.

I don't know if that has more to do with ginseng or lunchtime.

I am bad to skip lunch, but I think I won't, today.

Hope I have enough cash for a grilled cheese. I'd feel stupid charging it.

2:30 pm: Someone in our office is selling Arbonne and has put a tub of the sea salt scrub into the ladies' room with a sign that says "Fell the difference!"

Naturally, I used some, because no matter what I say about expensive beauty products not working better than anything currently in my arsenal, I'm always on the lookout anyway, and the jar was so damned cute (oh what a giveaway).

I neither fell the difference nor feel one (as opposed to what I currently use to moisturize/facilitate exfoliation, which is to say, cheap-ass petroleum jelly), but I smell the difference. Ooh, lemony.

I won't be spending that kind of fold on stuff from some random office acquaintance, but if one of you was selling Arbonne, and I had extra money, at least I know what I will buy from you.

I have only had two coffees today and I'm all right with this fact. That in itself may mean the ginseng is a good call.

My Friend Who Isn't But Is Sort Of has made a lovely ball of aluminum foil just for me.

Please don't be jealous.

I wanted to post a picture, but I can't get it to not glow like the Hustle's coming back any second now.

I thought I'd make a Boid, but I lost patience with the scissors, the glue stick, and the fact that my phone kept ringing with people who wanted me to do the things I get paid for, as opposed to making avian androids from paper. So I am Devoid of the Boid.

And vaguely annoyed.

4:15 pm: The ginseng, it has made me dishonest.

I just stole a spoonful of that Arbonne salt scrub from the cute little jar in the ladies' room and stashed it in an empty Altoids container to use for my next shower.

I plead guilty to lemony larceny.

Tags: ginseng

drinking: fruit₂o cherry-flavored water
listening to: Pink Floyd Tribute, Us and Them
dweezil zappa on guitar: doesn't suck in the slightest