<< prev = comments [21] = pings [0] = next >>


i don't dance
09/12/2007 = 05:06 AM

In tribute to Sahara Aldridge, who ought be jumping up and down in time to the music in her living room instead of going under the knife today to have a nasty malignant tumor chopped out of her brain, I finally succumbed to the hype and watched High School Musical 2.

Hello, search engineers. There are no naked pictures of Vanessa Hudgens on this page.

(A note for the woman who said she was devastated because she has an eight year-old daughter who idolized Hudgens as a role model: if your eight year-old is already looking at naked pictures of anyone on the internet, I'm pretty sure you can't blame the people in the pictures.)

The big question is not, as one would think, why a story that takes place outside of school, during summer vacation, is being labeled "high school" musical when it would be far more accurate to call it Summer Employees at the Country Club Musical.

No, we have more pressing issues on our minds.

Fortunately, the true big question (namely, "Was it GAY, or only gay?") has already been answered by people far more expert than I, who have genuine perspective into that point of view.

Not that there's anything wrong with any of that.

Without any spoilers — oh, for gourd's sake, it's a Disney movie. You know how it ended. Kissing and a musical number.

The only way this movie could possibly have been more perky is if they'd had little dance-along breaks between scenes, so you could learn how to do all the moves at home in front of your television.

Oh, wait. They did have those.

Also, is it me, or is Zac Efron a complete and total waste of about fifty phazillion eyelashes (3.75 terayottalottakilolashes in metric)? I mean, he's a boy; what's he going to do with all that flutter?

I'd better close-caption Zac Efron for the youth impaired (hi, Mom): his eyes are the eyes of the young Ricky Nelson.

Speaking of youth impaired, the signal to me that I am no longer of an age to enjoy, properly, anything evolving from the High School Musical franchise is the fact that, though Zac is pretty, the actor who made my personal heart go pitty-pat THUD was Bart Johnson, who played Coach Bolton.

Zac's character's DAD.

But can you blame me? Really?

Okay, fine. Blame me.

Batshit crazy old lady, party of one, your table is ready.

This is a Golfwidow post. If you see it on a site that isn't mine, someone is paying me the dubious honor of saying 'your writing is so good it's easier for me to take credit for it than to think for myself.'

Tags: High School Musical 2, Zac Efron, Bart Johnson, Vanessa Hudgens

drinking: coffee
listening to: Pink Floyd, Welcome to the Machine
coach bolton: he shoots, he scores