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hard realizations
10/13/2007 = 10:26 AM

The following are a bunch of random realizations that may well have been a meme when I originally saw them on Kathleen's page, but totally aren't anymore because I just was looking for a new way to talk about myself.

I've come to realize that my exes are my own fault. It doesn't matter that most of them said, "It's not you; it's me" — if I weren't so bizarre, it wouldn't have been either of us.

I've come to realize that I talk to the television as if I expect Alex Trebek to tell the contestant, "I can't believe you got that wrong. Golf Widow yelled the right answer at you about five times."

I've come to realize that I love Dream Theater with a great and powerful passion.

I've come to realize that I have a sandwich prejudice. It may be a plate of delicious food accompanied by bread, but if I can't pick it up and hold it in one hand whilst playing cards with the other, it is not, by my definition, a sandwich.

I've come to realize that I lost my desire to really push hard for success shortly after losing my second of two friends who worked themselves, literally, to death.

I've come to realize that I hate it when I make everything and everyone my priority, yet I and my needs are never a priority to anyone else.

I've come to realize that marriage, love, lust, crushes, friendships, and romance are all pretty much mutually exclusive; however, any one of the previous by itself will form a very stable compound when combined with angst.

I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking that the best revenge is living well, but is not sure how to go about it.

I've come to realize that I'll always be less than I meant to be, but more than I was.

I've come to realize that I have a crush on Bart Johnson. I came to this conclusion when I found myself watching the back-to-back airings of High School Musical and High School Musical 2 on Disney last weekend for no good reason other than to be horribly disappointed by how little these films showcase the main characters' parents.

I've come to realize that the last time I truly cried was yet another exercise in futility: the tears did not solve the problem but did cause a sinus headache.

I've come to realize that my cell phone is not as essential to me as everyone else's is to them, which makes me a freak.

I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning is the only time I dance, but that dance is the Pee Dance (similar in motion to the traditional tribal Rain Dance, only working toward an opposite goal) and it's not graceful by anyone's standards. Bonus: I've come to realize that Pee-Dancing With the Stars would be a really amusing reality television show.

I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night, my mind takes way too long to wind down.

I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about the fact that I'm really sick and tired, once and for all, of For Better or For Worse. I feel like Lynn Johnston is just phoning it in, and she's not doing anyone any favors. I love what it was, but I don't love what it is.

I've come to realize that babies are cute, but only if I can give them back to their parents when the novelty wears off. Furthermore, the ugliest baby acting like a baby is a million times cuter than any given grown man acting like one. You know who you are. Grow the hell up.

I've come to realize that I get on MySpace more to see what my friends are up to than anything to do with myself. Sometimes a MySpace announcement is the only clue I have about events in my friends' lives. See the bit about my prioritizing everyone else but never being anyone else's priority.

I've come to realize that today, I have no energy whatsoever.

I've come to realize that tonight, I will get a pizza from Ronnie's for dinner, because a) I have a coupon b) I want pizza and c) I don't want to cook.

I've come to realize that tomorrow, I will still be hoping that this is the day when things start to swing upward.

I've come to realize that, I really want to go to the new children's museum in West Hartford.

I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is — wait, why should anyone repost this? It's not a meme anymore.

Tags: facts

drinking: coffee
listening to: Larry Shields, Clarinet Marmalade Blues
martini craving: a golfwidowtini (a bottle of beer and a martini glass full of olives. you eat the olives and drink the beer out of the bottle)