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tf
10/10/2007 = 07:00 AM

The week started out as one of those weeks, in the sense that I couldn't stop saying, "The fuck?"

This first one isn't my story to tell, and I am only on the merest outskirts of it.

But.

If you're capable, without being completely nonplussed, of learning that someone you have known your entire life has just himself been visited by the world's strongest stork ...

... about forty-one years after the fact ...

... and not saying, "The fuck?" ...

... you are probably a Vulcan, so live long and prosper, dude.

Me, I just said, "The fuck?" because that's what McCoy would've said, if he hadn't had to deal with the FCC.

Also this week, I powered up my workstation and within five minutes of booting, it bluescreened at me. So I began powerdown and the fan started whining, louder and louder, and a smoky smell began emanating from the back of the tower.

To my credit, I did not yell, "The fuck?" at that particular moment, but only because I was at work.

I yelled, "Holy crap!" instead, and yanked the cord out of the surge strip. Phew.

The not-so-helpful desk first obligated me to listen to the local news in Pennsylvania (a state where I am not) AND Walking on Sunshine AND Love Train AND Freeze Frame, and finally deigned to answer the phone some forty-five minutes after I first dialed.

Their idea of helpdesking was a recommendation that I turn the computer back on and see if it happens again.

I believe I might have said, "Fuck that with a great and mighty fucking, forsooth," but it's possible I didn't say so aloud. I certainly thought it, though.

They did put in a ticket for me, after I expressed a desire to have someone's eyelashes other than my own get crisped off, since they make more money than I.

The tech they sent turned on my computer and it booted fine.

Which is good, because I didn't lose anything (except forty-five minutes of work-time and a bunch of brain cells from realizing I still remember all the words to Walking on Sunshine), but bad because I didn't think the not-so-helpful desk could believe I was any more of an idiot than they already did, and I have been proven wrong.

The fuck?

I was sick Monday night into Tuesday.

It led to a lot of weird dreams, including the cigarette one.

The cigarette dream is always different, but the constants are that I smoke at least one cigarette and then get heartily upset at myself for fucking up and having, ultimately, to disable my little counter that says how many days since I quit. I also always wake up unsure as to whether or not I actually fell off the wagon, because my mouth is usually very dry and tastes horrible, and I often also have that heavy congestion in my chest. Which was the case that night. Morning.

I also dreamed I was still working at my old job and my pager went off with a 911 code. I drove to the office and they wanted me to play third base in a slow-pitch softball game. I said, "If nobody's system is crashed, the only emergency is that you guys are assholes and I'm going home." It was an exceptionally satisfying dream, actually.

But still. The fuck?

Then there was this, in Yahoo!_® News, which I had to take a screenshot of, so as to preserve it for posterity:

Click to Supersize

Yes, for at least a brief while, the star of Itty Bitty Titty Committee was the leader of the Catholic church, thanks to the alert editors at Yahoo!_® News.

Yay journalistic accuracy.

Or, to translate for the Everyman and Everywoman ...

... the fuck?

Now this is a pretty good WTF, right here.

I didn't get famous in time to be immortalized by Al Hirschfeld, and I'm still not famous enough to be a human on Sesame Street, but Adam York Gregory, the genius behind the shadow animation on the My Black Dog video by The Adventures of Loki (and if you haven't seen that video, go now; I'll wait here), just featured me in one of his comics.

Click to visit The Flowfield Unity

I'm (well, my book is) a character in a comic. Yeah.

(I very nearly followed that up with "Eat your heart out, Neil "Lowly Bloggers Should Bask in My Glory" LaBute," but I decided to pity him instead, because I don't see any comics starring him and that must be keeping him up nights.)

Maybe the rest of the week will be okay.

Tags: WTF?; Adam York Gregory; Neil LaBute

drinking: coffee
listening to: AC/DC, Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)
cooperstown trip: canceled due to impending bad weather and gas prices