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sing a song of five
12/13/2007 = 05:05 AM

I was not tagged. But neither was I inspired to write anything else, so this is basically meant to immunize anyone who got tagged and doesn't feel like doing it.

Five Things I Just Don't Get:

1. Why holding hands with someone big enough to protect you has to be so damned uncomfortable.
2. Why I crave all the foods that are really bad for me.
3. Why the same people never trust me to come through when I've proven over and over to them that I am not only capable of doing what they need, but awesome at it.
4. Baseball cards, to anyone over the age of ten who doesn't ride a bicycle.
5. Sarah Silverman.

Five Things, Other Than Money, I Wish I Had More Of:

1. Free time.
2. Space, particularly storage and kitchen.
3. Peace of mind.
4. Stuff that beeps.
5. Clothing that was manufactured in the past five years.

Five Least Favorite Words or Phrases:

1. "Someday."
2. "I promise."
3. "We don't have any record of that."
4. "We're out of stock."
5. "Git-er-dun."

Five Famous People I've Spoken With in Person:

1. Arlo Guthrie.
2. Wynton Marsalis.
3. Rex Fowler and Neal Shulman (counts as one because they are Aztec Two-Step and I met them together).
4. Paula Poundstone.
5. Deni Bonet (I'm claiming her now because by this time next year, she will be famous and you guys will feel really stupid for having said you never heard of her).

Five Things I Do Nearly Daily That I Don't Enjoy:

1. Get out of bed.
2. Work for that company that I don't work for. Explanation: I am their client, but their support is so bloody useless that I am, in essence, purchasing ingredients, walking into their restaurant, going back to their kitchen, preparing my own meal, cleaning up after myself, then having to tip them.
3. Take a lot of pills.
4. Try to figure out where to get some money.
5. Crave cigarettes.

Five Things I Wish I Had The Chance To Do More Often:

1. Sit and read without being disturbed.
2. Travel.
3. Buy stuff.
4. Take naps in the middle of the day.
5. Eat Cadbury Cream Eggs.

Five Things I Have Actually Done that Sound Like Lies:

1. Drank nearly an entire fifth of gin by myself.
2. Used a computer with zero memory. (There was a time, young people, when, if you didn't insert a tape or a diskette into a computer and type in a command, you lost everything you'd been working on when the computer was turned off. Ask your parents.)
3. Wrote a book.
4. Ate alligator. It tasted like chicken.
5. Told a cop who had pulled me over that he might as well make the ticket round trip, because the only reason I was speeding was that I had to pee, and I still had to pee, so I was planning on speeding all the way home. (I got off with a verbal warning.)

Five People I Hope Will Fill This Out:

1. Drew Carey.
2. Michael Stipe.
3. Jim Calhoun.
4. Howard Hesseman.
5. Lewis Carroll.

Tags: meme

drinking: coffee
listening to: Pink Floyd, Another Brick in the Wall Part II
case in point on craving bad foods: it's 5 am and i want some kfc