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class-ay
02/13/2008 = 08:03 AM

Before we begin, I have to recycle my annual Lent joke:

Wife: Want to have sex?
Husband: I can't. It's Lent.
Wife: Well, I'm horny, so borrow it back.

Speaking of Lent, how does IHOP deal with anyone who gave up pancakes, on International Pancake Day? Do they let you take makeups after Easter?

Okay, sorry. We can start now. Take your seats, people.

Here be Water Dragons thinks I'm classy.

If she knew how much time I spend pulling my socks off, balling them up, and throwing them at That Man of Mine, she'd probably Photoshop the "c" and the "l" off of that badge. I throw socks at That Man at least once and sometimes up to three times daily.

I'm not sure why. I think it's because he's such a large target.

Anyway, I'm really grateful to the Lady of the Water Dragons, and also to Things I'm Grateful For, because I have, apparently, won a prize from him.

I think the Grateful Guy is making me more grateful than I'm making him, and I wish I could balance out my grateful karma a little better.

However, I'm having some issues with this, lately.

I'm grateful to them both, and I'm grateful for all of my friends and for the total strangers who have been helping me to feel productive and keep busy, but with the added news that, on top of everything else that's going on,

• Jenny-Tenny's mom has taken a bad turn and Jenn and her sister got into a car accident (whiplash and a lot of pain) on the way back from the hospital
• Juma's aunt-in-law passed away the other day as well

February is starting to replace March as my all-time least favorite month of the year.

At the rate things are going, my whole calendar's going to fill up with spitballs and turn into some sort of weird pop-art three-dimensional conception of my angst.

Which is probably fortunate, all things considered. The last weird pop-art three-dimensional conception of someone's angst that got any press time was that lovely earlobe that Van Gogh gave to a prostitute for safekeeping so he'd be free to stalk Gauguin.

And as you'll note, from the fact that you probably said, "I thought it was his whole ear," or "What's this about Gauguin?" the press time Van Gogh's earlobe did get was about as accurate as the reports that Andy Kaufman is still alive and going on tour really soon.

Anyway, I'm staging a coup by passing my Classy Blog Award to more than the recommended daily amount of people. Click here to see the list. (If you want to be on the list too, I'm still selling guest posts, two bucks a pop.) If you're already on the list, grab the badge and put it on your blog, assuming you haven't got it already. A lot of you were classy before I had a badge to give to you.

Tags: Classy Blog Awards, Vincent Van Gogh

drinking: vanilla chai soy latte (hi, nick)
listening to: Drop Nineteens, Winona
to my poor former coworkers: careful on the roads today, guys. i think i'll crash on the sofa with my comfy warm quilt