<< prev = comments [13] = pings [0] = next >>


if i were
03/29/2008 = 01:31 PM

Before we begin today, I must encourage you all to go to this site, whether or not you give a rat's arse about any of its other content, and watch the TV commercial at the top, which features — nay, stars — my sweet babboo Andy Martello.

And now, back to the program.

I have no April Fool's content today. If you really want to get punk'd, you could always go work for my former employers. They January Fooled the living shit out of me.

I haz a meme. Iz not so grate, akshuly.

Ganked from Turnbaby. No one is tagged, because it's not a meme anymore.

If I were a direction I’d be … vaguely downward.

If I were furniture I’d be … a comfy chair.

If I were a liquid I’d be … coffee.

If I were a sin I’d be … gluttony.

If I were a gem/stone I’d be … Austrian crystal.

If I were a metal I’d be … pewter. But I'd change the spelling to 'puter.

If I were a tree I’d be … the larch.

If I were a fruit I’d be … an orange.

If I were a flower I’d be … wild thyme.

If I were weather I’d be … thunderstorms.

If I were a music instrument I’d be … a kazoo.

If I were an element I’d be … beryllium.

If I were a colour I’d be … Prussian blue.

If I were an animal I’d be … a penguin.

If I were a sound I’d be … squeaky baby kittens.

If I were a lyric I’d be … "You can be happy if you've a mind to" (from You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd by Roger Miller).

If I were a song I’d be …On Top of Spaghetti.

If I were a music type I’d be … progressive rock.

If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be … Very Irresistible by Givenchy.

If I were a feeling I’d be … itchiness.

If I were a book I’d be … Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

If I were food I’d be … mashed potatoes.

If I were a city I’d be … Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

If I were a taste I’d be … hot mustard with horseradish.

If I were a scent I’d be … lime, mint, and vanilla.

If I were a word I’d be … chrysalis.

If I were a verb I’d be … topple.

If I were an object I’d be … a Dobsonian telescope.

If I were a piece of clothing I’d be … a ruana.

If I were a body part I’d be … a nortybit.

If I were an facial expression I’d be … one of those faces that, when you pull it, your mother tells you you're going to freeze that way one day.

If I were a cartoon character I’d be … Hammy, from Over the Hedge. ("I like a cookie.")

If I were a movie I’d be … Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

If I were a geometrical figure I’d be … a dodecahedron.

If I were one of the four seasons I’d be … autumn.

If I were a sentence I’d be … time served.

Tags: meme

drinking: pepsi
listening to: Dueling Banjos
which can only mean: look, i made some april fool's content after all