So George Carlin goes to a hospital and says, "Doc, I got these chest
pains."
It didn't go over well.
I know that, as a comedian, George Carlin has died plenty of times, but yesterday,
he died.
Oh, man, I am so bummed. Even more than I was when Mitch Hedburg took that
big broken escalator to heaven.
The three things I hope happened after Carlin did the big cackeroo:
He arrived at the Pearly Gates and said, "Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker,
motherfucker, and tits, I was wrong this whole time."
St. Peter (Carlin was raised Irish Catholic before he reached the age of
reason) greeted him at the Gates and said, "Hey, Carlin — welcome
to Door Number Four."
The Gates opened and Tippy ran out, yapping, panting, and saying, "I-thought-you-were-never-gonna-get-here
I-thought-you-were-never-gonna-get-here where-the-fuck's-the-food?"
drinking: water
listening to: George Carlin, The Hair Poem
think this water's safe to drink? "i'll drink it anyway. i'm an american
and i expect big business to poison me a little every day"