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labor day
09/27/2008 = 08:46 AM

If Sophie were here, she'd be saying, "Oh, wow. Another one."

It is a sad sign of the times when the Mom sends me an email (probably in an effort not to wake up my whole house, but I've got the phone right next to me, so she could call if she needs to) telling me that my brother and sister-in-law have been safely delivered of a baby girl (after finding out that the baby had tied a knot in her umbilical cord), and my first thought is, They'd better get her up on Monster.com before all the good openings are filled.

Granted, she won't have much to put on her résumé yet, other than crying and eating (and knot-tying, qualifying her for the U.S. Navy), but people have been selected for the vice presidential candidacy on less.

Your job, incidentally, should you choose to accept it, is to visit the Mom's site immediately and call her Grandma, because now, unlike when I was a kid, picking up the cat by his pawpits and dancing him on his hind legs, saying for him in my best imitation of Cat Speaking Human, "Look at me, Grandma!" she is now completely unable to say, "I am nobody's grandmother," in an indignant tone of voice.

Incidentally, you don't have to congratulate me on being an aunt. I married into aunthood and am pretty much used to it by now. My job, should I choose to accept it, is to send the kid noisy toys and include the batteries. This is one of many reasons I prefer aunting to parenting.

Tags: baby

drinking: ice water
listening to: nothing
also not too early: to get the kid registered to vote. just ask sarah palin, who basically has condoned her daughter's teen pregnancy (as opposed to anyone else's, which she condemns as immoral) in order to get a fresh constituent