I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds with George Bush and his wife and I saw you sit on Manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that your Honda sucks. I'm returning your love letters to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of senility .
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Golf Widow
Okay, in case you hadn't guessed, this is a meme I ganked from Jenny Tenny, just because I am going to have some news soon but I don't want to spill it till I know which way it's going to go.
It's pretty self-explanatory if you decide you want to do it. If you decide you don't want to do it, the meme monsters will not eat you, I promise.
(Because your closet monster already clobbered them single-talonedly.)
Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):
I don't really know how to tell you this, but 1 . I think I realized it 2 3 and I saw you 4 5 . I'm sure you're 6 enough to understand 7 . I'm returning 8 to you, but I'll keep 9 as a memory. You should also know that I 10 11 .
12 ,
(your name)
What's the color of your shirt? Blue - Our romance is over Red - Our affair is over White - I'll join the monastery Black - I dislike you Green - Our horoscope doesn't match Grey - You're a pervert Yellow - I'm selling myself Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - The mafia wants you No shirt - You're a loser Other - I'm in love with your sister
Which is your birth month? January - That night February - Last year March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on sesame seeds May - First of May June - When you put cuffs on me July - When I threw up August - When I saw the shrunken head September - When we skinny dipped October - When I quoted Santa November - When your dog ran amok December - When I changed tennis shoes
Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Pizza - In your camping car Pasta - Outside of Chicago Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad - As you ate enchilada Chicken - In your closet Kabob - With Paris Hilton Fish - In women's clothing Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation Lasagna - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a state of trance None of the above - With George Bush and his wife
What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Hit on Red - Insult Black - Ignore Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - Put leeches on Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the toupee off Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive out
What's the color of your underwear? Black - My best friend White - My father Grey - Bill Clinton Brown - My fart balloon Purple - My mustard soufflé Red - Donald Duck Blue - My avocado plant Yellow - My penpal in Ghana Orange - My Kid Rock-collection Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper None - My John F. Kennedy-statue Other - The crazy monk
What do you prefer to watch on TV? Scrubs - Man O.C. - Emotional One Tree Hill - Open Heroes - Frostbitten Lost - High House - Scarred Simpsons - Cowardly the news - Mongolic American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Senile Top Model - Middle-class None of the above - Ashamed
Your mood right now? Happy - How awful I've felt Sad - How boring you are Bored - That Santa doesn't exist Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage Depressed - That we're cousins Excited - That there is no solution to this. Nervous - The middle-east Worried - That your Honda sucks Apathetic - That I did a sex-change Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men Overjoyous - That I'm open Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your ring Yellow - Your love letters Red - Your Darth Vader-poster Black - Your tame stone Blue - The couch cushions Green - The pictures from LA Orange - Your false teeth Brown - Your contact book Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs Purple - Your old lottery coupons Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your memories from the military service
The first letter of your first name? A/B - Your photo C/D - The oil stocks E/F - Your neighbour Martin G/H - My virginity I/J - The results of your blood-sample K/L - Your left ear M/N - Your suicide note O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T - Your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X - David's tricot outfits Y/Z - Your grades from college
The last letter in your last name? A/B - Always will remember C/D - Never will forget E/F - Always wanted to break G/H - Never openly mocked I/J - Always have felt dirty before K/L - Will tell the authorities about M/N - Told in my confession today about O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about S/T - Get sick when I think of U/V - Always will try to forget W/X - Am better off without Y/Z - Never liked
What do you prefer to drink? Water- Our friendship Beer - Senility Soft drink - A new life as a clone Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo Milk - The apartment building Wine - Cocaine abuse Cider - A passionate interest for mice Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations Mineral water - Embarrassing rash Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism Whisky - To ruin the second world war Other - To hate the Boston Celtics
To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand - Warm regards USA - Best regards England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail Spain - Go and drown yourself China - Disgusting regards Germany - With ease Japan - Go burn Greece - Your everlasting enemy Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard Egypt - Fuck off now France - In pain Other - Greetings to your freaky family
P.S. Dear Seraphine:
I'm glad you were the last person who commented. This could have been a very embarrassing meme, especially if the Mom had commented after you.
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