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newsiness
10/10/2008 = 01:50 PM

When last we met here, I wasn't sure how the news was. Now that I have a better idea, I can fill you in.

But first of all, I need to point out how odd it is to watch CSI and say, "Shit, I was just down there this morning."

First bit of news: I have been given all the power in the world.

That's right. Got my library card this week. Fear me.

The economy is in the toilet. That might be news to you guys. Mine's been in the toilet for ages, as you know. I'm just hoping karma catches up to some of the people who have messed up my financial situation, so they know how it feels. Is all I'm saying.

However, That Man of Mine has a job. Which he likes pretty well, except that they won't give him the hours he needs in order to fix, or at least assist, our current financial woes.

On the upside to that, he just got an offer from another company this morning — the job he really wanted — and I think he's going to take it. He's really excited.

Now me.

Biggest Phone Company in the Universe (at least, the known universe) offered me a job yesterday, in the most peculiar way possible.

Background: during the interviewing and testing processes, they said they would not discuss scheduling or salaries until a job offer was extended.

Yesterday, when the lady called (and in her defense, I kind of got the impression she was a telemarketer sort-of caller who was given a list of people, a list of answers to potential questions which she was supposed to read word-for-word, and a pen to check off the candidates who accepted the position and to write down the reasons if the candidate were to decline), I asked, since I was now being offered the job, could she now share the salary and the hours?

No, she said, that would be told to us after training.

I told her that I needed to know these things before accepting, particularly since my husband and I only have one car at this time and I need to have him adjust his schedule to accommodate mine.

And she said, "So I should put down that you're declining due to transportation issues?

Wait, what?

I said, "No; please put down that I'm declining because who in their right mind accepts a job without even being told what their first day of work is going to be, let alone what their schedule will be or what they will be paid?"

And rather than saying, "Well, you aced the testing" [I know I did] "and you blew their socks off during the interview" [again, I know I did] "so let me find that information out and call you back," she said, "Okay, then, I'll take your application off file," and that was that.

I don't feel particularly bad about it. I didn't really want to work for them anyway. I just need a new cell phone.

Other work news: When I first got laid off, I was, as most of you know, in a dead panic. Rightly so, as it turned out — I haven't been out of work this long since I first got my working papers the week after my sixteenth birthday and got hired by the local pharmacy.

One of my friends suggested I apply at his place of business. He did not give me an application, or a person to contact, or, really, any information at all beyond the name of the company and a reminder to mention his name when I applied so he could get a bonus.

Well, my mama didn't raise me to wait around for others to do for me. I went online, found the company's website, located the "Careers" section, sent them my résumé, and put my friend's name into the application where it asked who recommended them.

They sent that freaking rejection form email back so fast you'd think they were waiting for me to apply just so they could have the satisfaction of shooting me down.

To my friend, and you know who you are: I'm sorry if this means you didn't get the referral bonus. I did try.

But this was a sign (I decided) that I needed to apply to this same company's biggest competitor.

I won't mention the competitor's name, but I will say that, when you see a lovely chocolaty-looking truck pull into your driveway with a box full of goodies, and you think of the slogan asking if you know what that chocolaty color can do for you, you'll probably guess which company it was who rejected my application so bloody fast.

Anyway, I start Monday at the company with the chocolaty trucks (call center), so I blow a hearty raspberry at everyone who let me get away.

It's way too soon to call myself out of the woods yet, but I do want to thank everyone who supported me both financially and emotionally during this time of uncertainty. Again, you know who you are.

Everyone who didn't is welcome to share that raspberry. I may not be the winning horse, but I am definitely worth backing, 'cos I am PULLING FORWARD.

Tags: work

drinking: ice water
listening to: nothing
a warm hello to: my old friend and neighbor, who is currently, from all reports, feeling as though she's going to be pregnant FOREVER