<< prev = comments [13] = pings [0] = next >>


yum-ew
04/19/2009 = 06:09 AM

So.

Hi. How's everyone?

Anyway, last weekend I watched a History Network documentary about the Ten Plagues, and then, because my knees were giving me quite a lot of trouble, I took a painkiller before bed.

That is the only explanation I can derive for the dream I had subsequently, which involved Rachael Ray telling me I had thirty minutes to make some of the hordes of frogs into a meal for four.

These were live frogs.

I was, like, "Yeah. No."

And Rachael Ray was all, "No, come on, it'll be yum-o."

I said, "That alone is reason enough for me not to do it."

She said, "We'll take some store-bought help."

So I said, "If we're going to the store anyway, I'll buy some chicken breasts or ground beef and make that for dinner. You eat the damned frogs, you franchised freak."

Egyptian frogs, possibly tainted with anthrax from the red algae shit that was polluting the Nile (making it look like blood).

There ain't enough store-bought help in the world to help that taste yum-o.

A plague upon you, History Network.

And a little bit on Rachael Ray as well, just for being perky and putting Worcestershire sauce in her chili, which I'm pretty sure was listed as a sin in the Bible.

Also, my knees still hurt, so that whole brainbender was completely Not Worth It.

Tags: Rachael Ray

drinking: freshly squeezed pink grapefruit juice. did i mention how wonderful the citrus is here?
listening to: Susan Boyle, Cry Me a River
favorite susan boyle quote: "why should i change?" (when asked if she'd be getting a makeover now that she's been discovered. i cheer on behalf of frumpy women everywhere ... we're beautiful too, dammit)