The latest Plinky prompt says, quote, "You shouldn't cry over spilt milk," which is sort of misleading.
I originally heard the phrase as, "It's no use crying over spilt milk," which, translated, means, "Crying over it won't clean it up."
Makes sense. Eventually, you've got to stop crying, get a mop, and clean up both the milk and the tears.
It's kind of how I live my life.
But to tell me I shouldn't cry over it, that's not only kind of unfair (as in, who are they to tell me what to feel?) but unrealistic (as in, if I've had a bad day, culminating in milk all over the floor, something is gonna give, no matter what advice some writing prompt is handing out that day).
So here, in no particular order, are a bunch of things I have cried over, for which Plinky would no doubt chastise me.
This is not a meme, by the way. It's just that the choices Plinky offered in their button-list weren't much help, as writing prompts go.
Dropping a batch of freshly-homemade eggplant parmesan on the dining room floor and having it land upside down. I'm willing to wager Plinky never spent all day making eggplant parmesan from scratch, nor have they ever cleaned tomato sauce off a carpet. I cried for five full minutes before I could bring myself to lift the pan and see how bad the damage was.
Opening up a mail-order package to find out that the product I'd coveted had been discontinued, so they replaced it with a "similar item of equal or greater value" that was NOT WHAT I HAD WANTED SO BADLY.
Any time a parent on America's Funniest Home Videos (which ought to just be called "Videos," since they often show ones from other countries, and some of them are shot outside of the home, and many of them are not at all amusing) keeps the camera rolling on a crying child. Put down the camera and go hug your kid, you jerk.
Charlotte Church singing Bridge Over Troubled Water.
The part in Kill Bill Vol. I where Uma Thurman wakes up from her coma and realizes she's not pregnant anymore.
Whenever one of my online friends' pets dies.
UConn's senior night.
Now, to undo the depression, here are some things I have laughed so hard over that I either cried, had a nosebleed, or had to run quickly in order not to pee on the floor (more difficult to clean up than spilt milk, in my book).
"She looks a lot like Fiona from the Shrek film when she is in her ogre state." (my cousin Juma about a mutual acquaintance)
One particular video from that previously-mentioned misnamed show, wherein a baby farts a mushroom-shaped cloud of talcum powder.
George Carlin's Occupation: Foole.
The time a friend of mine got it into his head that it was okay that he had two hamburgers but only one bun, because (boy logic) he could use the bun to have the first burger, then REUSE IT FOR THE OTHER BURGER afterward.
Having a pain pill, then watching Ace of Cakes, and mishearing Duff Goldman during the opening credits: "Make it bigger, making batter, make it awesome."
Doing the bubble-wrap boogie (putting bubble-wrap on the floor and dancing on it).
The time That Man of Mine went out and bought a new bottle of Diet Coke but totally forgot to buy any beverages for me, told me I could drink water, then promptly dropped his brand new bottle, which exploded all over the kitchen floor.
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