<< prev = comments [2] = pings [0] = next >>


stuff to write home about
12/26/2009 = 11:24 AM

Open letters to a few people, and when I say a few, I mean a few, and here's why:

Dear Public Library:

I think you should give me more than an hour on your damn computer when it takes me 34 minutes to open one damned page because your internet connection is slower than a Hoveround at a buffet.

Sincerely,

Golf "And Your Book Selection Isn't All That Either" Widow

Dear Everyone Else:

I have more of these, but you'll have to wait, because I am out of time.

Sincerely,

Golf "I've Got to Do Just Two More" Widow

Dear Omari:

I love your cologne. But really? A hundred and twenty bucks? Really? Really?

Sincerely,

Golf "Will You Adopt Me?" Widow

Dear Lesley:

I will miss you so much. When you get to heaven, assuming there is one, look up my friend Cosmic. You two will get a kick out of each other.

Love,

Golf "Also, Assuming Heaven Exists, I Believe It Is a Place Where They Will Finally Do Your Nails Exactly the Way You Like Them" Widow

Tags: letters

drinking: nothing
listening to: nothing
next planned listen: bud buckley's new cd