Give it Away, Golf Widow

The son of the sista of my heart (which I suppose makes him the nephew of my heart) sent a contribution via the button for guest posts, even though he doesn't have a blog.

He did ask that I post my comments and opinions regarding surveillance and the telecoms.

I have so many conflicting thoughts on this subject. I hate like hell to take sides on controversial issues, especially on my blog, because it tends to inspire more conflict between us than it does resolution to situations.

The best-case scenario is an agreement to disagree; a worse-case scenario is a bunch of people explaining at the top of their caps-locks why I couldn't be more wrong, misinformed, and ignorant; the worst-case scenario is the ending of a friendship/mutual respect — a loss that could easily have been avoided if I'd just kept my wrong, misinformed, and ignorant viewpoints to myself.

Even that best-case scenario makes me unhappy. But it was so little for him to ask.

In a nutshell, my instinct is to say that I, personally, don't have anything to hide. If the government wants to waste its time listening to me talk smack about my former employers and whine about the fact that my friends are slurping diet cherry limeades when I would have to drive ninety miles to get to the nearest Sonic, they're more in need of a life than I am.

On the other hand, I'm one of the ones paying for that. I give the government my hard-earned money (which is no longer flowing in like it was, oh, this time last week), and they eavesdrop on me. I can think of about five million things I'd rather have them do with that money.

On the other hand, the biggest problem I have with surveillance as it currently stands is that, although the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) used to protect our rights to not be spied upon, that got sort of overridden by the Protect America Act. By dancing around the original language of FISA, a proposed amendment including immunity for the telecoms could leave them more safe from prosecution for invasion of privacy than I think we are from being invaded, period.

In a rather annoying nutshell, it is completely legal for them to tap a citizen's communication media to "keep us safe" (and from what? my pathetic attempts to console E over the death of her husband? oh, yeah, that's the act of a terrorist, innit), and they may do so without holding any sort of judicial review. Just, if they think you're a threat, they can move forward and get their listen on.

How are they making such a call, without a judicial review? Even "trusting a gut instinct" is exercising some sort of judgment ... don't they want to get a second opinion? Wouldn't they want one, if they were the citizens under scrutiny?

How silly of me, to assume personal integrity was going to play a part in this fiasco.

But on the other hand, who's going to pay for the judicial review?

And on the other hand, is it really keeping us safe?

And on the other hand, how can we expect anyone to be honest with us about whether or not our phone sex has evolved into a gang rape, when I personally am not a hundred percent sure anyone's even actually reporting all of the news, and have not been since Peter Jennings started not feeling so well?

How many hands is that? One, two, three, four, five, six.

Ultimately, it comes down to two big problems.

1. I've only got two hands.
2. I'm not qualified to have even one opinion about this at all, and the ones I've already voiced are almost certainly wrong, misinformed, and ignorant.

In short (I know; too late), the whole freaking government, a bunch of people who still have jobs and make more than I ever made before I became a budgetary constraint, can't make up their minds what the best, safest course is in regard to finding out who's got it in for us, and I'm just one person who takes a millenium to pick out a greeting card. Don't be mad that I can't come up with the right answer, is what I'm saying.

Two hands.

For your own edification, here is the left hand:

http://www.pfaw.org/pfaw/general/default.aspx?oid=24935

and here is the right hand:

http://www.gop.com/blog/Read.aspx?GUID=4798169f-61a2-4a2d-ba8a-829eef93f06e

Please feel free to make your own decision, and I wish you luck of it. My brain hurts from trying to figure it out.

And my own left hand doesn't know what my right hand is doing, except that both hands are feeling mighty arthritic, this cold, rainy-arsed day.

I'm still "selling" guest posts. Most of them are not this wrong, misinformed, and ignorant, I assure you.

I have no agenda against the Universe. But it sure does like to mess with me.

After seven years of not bitching about my job here, like so many other online writers do with impunity (in fact, I think I've written here more than once about how much I liked my job, and how I was willing to put up with it even when it's frustrating, on the basis that they paid me to take the frustration like a big girl), they still hit me in the face with the ol' "eliminating your position due to budgetary constraints" on Thursday.

What you don't know is that That Man of Mine has been on a fruitless job search for the past several months himself. I didn't talk about it because, while people like you to be honest, most of them don't want you to be that honest. It makes them uncomfortable.

We are well and truly fucked, now. I am ill and I was supporting both of us on my meager salary, and now I don't have that anymore.

I am terrified.

I hate like hell to do this, but I have no marketable skills and all the stuff I own is crap, so I can't sell you anything but myself.

I will write guest blogs for $2 each. I accept Paypal.

That's set at a cap of $2, by the way. I don't want charity — I have to earn that by writing a guest post. So if you keep clicking it, you're going to get a whole lot of guest posts, is what I'm saying.

You can choose the subject, within reason. I'll try to tailor what I write to fit into your blog's everyday format. I'd rather not to have to write or endorse anything I don't believe, but I will try to be fair to your requests, and I will also respect your blog by not writing anything that is in dissent with your opinions and beliefs.

I don't need your password. All I need is your URL (I'll direct what traffic I may to your site) and an email address for me to send the text to. You can copy and paste the text into your blog application's "body" field yourself without compromising your security.

$2. That's how desperate I am.

Oh, and? I got the news a few hours after having gotten the news that my friend E's husband had died suddenly that morning.

People's pets are sick and dying. People's dads are sick and dying. People's husbands? Sick and dying.

All this, after I decided to change my life and reach out to the Universe, to put money back into the financial ecosystem by giving whatever extra I had to charity.

To be positive about everything, all the time, in order to attract positivity to my life.

I can't do that right now. Maybe I can get back to it at some point, but at the moment, it doesn't feel like changing my outward attitude will change what I attract. It feels like pretending I'm happy is making me into a big fat liar.

All those people walking around what used to be my office, whining about their sniffles and the fact that they only had enough money for two pairs of new shoes when they wanted three, they still have jobs.

Me, I smiled all the time. Said "Great!" when people asked how I was. Didn't mention that I haven't bought new shoes in ages because I can't afford them when the bills and the mortgage and the groceries and blah blah expensecakes have to be my first priority.

But I'm the one causing "budgetary constraints."

My former employers, they don't know from budgetary constraints. And at least one of them told one of my former coworkers that they were unaware that That Man was also out of work, which wouldn't make a difference anyway, since the decision was already in place.

Except, he did know.

I had told him a few months ago.

And even if he'd forgotten, I'd mentioned it again, as I was leaving the meeting where they were telling me how truly, truly sorry it had to be this way.

He did know, and he still let it happen, and then he lied about knowing. But I'm the budgetary constraint.

I hope none of them ever sleep a wink again. I hope they lie awake at night, consumed with guilt over the fact that they have destroyed me.

They won't, because I believe they have no souls, but I hope it anyway.

$2.00. Please.

It's less than a gallon of gas.

Certainly less than cigarettes, and by the way, thank gourd I quit five years ago, because if I hadn't, I certainly can't afford to smoke now.

Besides, they're US dollars. They're not worth crap anyway.

(I considered writing to the White House to ask if the President would like me to guest post on his blog, but I didn't want to have to resort to using made-up words like "nucular" and "sublinial" if at all avoidable.)

Please.

Everyone who comments on Sunshine's Delurking for Autism post from now until noon (Thursday, January 17th), she will donate $1 per comment to the Autism Research Institute.

To sweeten the pot, Sunshine has an earring and pendant set for Autism Awareness that is brand spankin' new, still in the package (so you could give it as a gift if you want). If you'd like to be entered for the random drawing for the jewelry, say so in your comment; she'll be using Random.org to determine a winner. If you're not the jewelry "type", you still might want to enter, as Julie Pippert is donating this lovely book about autism from a sister's perspective and will send it to the winner of the random draw once Sunshine gets their name and address.

Again, even if you don't want to be in the contest (I didn't - I wanted to give everyone else a better chance), simply leave a comment to say hi, and add another buck to the total.

I recently watched the film Million Dollar Mermaid and found, after further research, that Hollywood had dug its greedy little claws into the truth and the resulting picture, though visually very beautiful, bore little resemblance to the actual life and career of swimmer Annette Kellerman.

Indeed, except for the brief presence of a boxing kangaroo, there was not much to suggest that Kellerman was from Australia (Esther Williams played the role with an American accent).

However, the film instilled enough curiosity in me that I was drawn to read The Million Dollar Mermaid, a short autobiographical piece written by Kellerman herself. It renewed my interest in, someday, making a trip to Australia and New Zealand.

I have other reasons for wanting to be in that hemisphere, of course. I want to see the Southern Cross in my lifetime. I have some family in Australia. I have friends in New Zealand -- some of whom I have met, others I only know via the Internet. I love the movie Heavenly Creatures and want to see Christchurch, the scene of the Happy Event, with my own eyes.

I need to eat Moreton Bay Bug at least once, because, while I still maintain my fear of any creature with more than four legs, Moreton Bay Bug fits the criteria of "unless it can be steamed and served with drawn butter."

You'll notice I haven't brought up Lord of the Rings. Please. I was a Kiwi-fan before Kiwi was cool.

Anyway, I started trying to find out a bit about what I'd need to travel there, other than money, which, obviously, I've none of at the moment.

I have learned a great deal of what I'd need to travel down under from Cheaperthanhotels, the go-to service whether you need to book in advance to help plan the perfect trip, or whether you need a last minute reservation. (Cheaperthanhotels also can help you prepare, even at the last minute, for an early morning departure or a late evening arrival ... definitely things you want to think about when you're coming from the other side of the International Date Line and can't remember whether you're arriving today, tomorrow, or yesterday, let alone whether it's at noon or midnight.)

For instance, did you know that Sydney International Airport isn't in Sydney? It's actually in the Sydney suburb of Mascot.

Does that make a difference? I don't think so ... Bradley Airport, considered to be in Hartford, is actually in Windsor Locks. Besides, there are thousands of signs. Furthermore, Sydney has a landmark the Hartford airport doesn't: a big box of broken dishes known as the Opera House. I think I'll be able to figure out where I am.

I'd want to rent a Ford Falcon to get to and from the airport via road, in tribute to Mad Max (otherwise known as Mel Gibson before he decided that What Women Want is an Anti-Semite). I guess I'd have to find someone to drive for me. The steering wheels are on the right side in Australia. I think it's to do with the Coriolis force which, once it found out that it wasn't really affecting the spiral of water running down the drain in opposing hemispheres, decided it needed something else to muck with.

In the event that I cannot kip on the floor of any of my Down-Under mates, I shall be seeking lodging in Sydney Airport Hotels, Melbourne Airport Hotels, and Brisbane Airport Hotels whilst in Australia, and Auckland Airport Hotels whilst in New Zealand. Fortunately, Cheaperthanhotels offers last minute discounts as well as bookings up to a year in advance to assist planning, which means I can either save up and make a reservation, or hit the lottery (and be a Million Dollar Mermaid myself) and leave tomorrow.

So now, if you want to come with me (or finance my trip), you're welcome to do so. I think you should be able to figure out how to get us there from this post. You can even have my Vegemite.

My cousin and I have been logging faithfully into Blingo every day and using it for every search engine need we could possibly have. Sure, we want to not only find our information, but also to try to win movie tickets and Amazon gift cards.

But I have also been harboring a desire that my first search of the day will yield to my winning the Publisher's Clearing House. Obviously, I need money badly for myself, billwise and so forth, and also because I haven't been able to be as generous as I like to be, but I also have a luxury or two I crave.

I need a new wardrobe, and my kitchen is a disaster full of ancient appliances and crappy counter space, but most of all, I need a vacation. Someplace my cousin and I could go to, without husbands or children or jobs, and just hang out and have fun.

Someplace that would take a last minute impulse, such as http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk, and turn it into something unforgettable.

If we had the money, we'd go to France, get some haute couture, which is French for "new clothes," and visit wineries and museums. I particularly want to go to the Louvre, not to see most of the famous paintings, but so I can see the pyramid. I love that damned pyramid. I also want to see the Eiffel Tower and the Cathedral of Notre Dame. Naturally, we'd stay in France hotels or, more particularly, Paris hotels.

From France, we'd move on to Germany and stay in Germany hotels, because Germany has such German attractions as beer festivals, Neuschwanstein Castle, and The Romantic Road, and I have also heard a rumor that there is a pub there where one can get a doctorate in beer. I need a beer doctorate.

Beer doctorates. http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk is such the little multitasker, isn't it?

In particular, we'd very likely also be going to see Berlin attractions such as the Pergamon Museum, Brandenburge Gates, and Schloss Charlottenburg, whilst staying in Berlin hotels.

I've had my cousin for fewer than a few months, since she was put up for adoption at birth and I only just met her. We have a LOT of catching up to do.

Come on, come through, Publisher's Clearing House. We've got so much business for http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk.

I found a great resource at icontact (a site which lets you search for topics to blog about then pays you for blogs).

I searched for the word "charity", and found an article about the Esther Benjamins Trust, a charity working to rescue trafficked children in Nepal. They are printing Christmas cards for 2007, but, unlike many charities, where only a portion of the sale proceeds goes to the trust, this venture is investing the full 100% of their proceeds into helping these children. If you would like to learn more, please click the link to read the article ... and if you would like to help, please think about buying the cards as your holiday greeting this year.

... but I'm more interested in seeing if this post ends up on Daniel's multiply site, like so many other people's posts that have been tagged "Harry Potter" or "Harry Potter Movie" have done.

Congratulations on your mad copy and pasting skills, Daniel.  I'd say you're a good writer, but I'm not sure how much actual writing you do and how much you steal from other people and take credit for yourself.

This is a Golfwidow post, and I ought to know, because I am Golfwidow and I wrote the silly thing.  If you see it at http://daniel67smith.multiply.com/journal, it's 'cos he or whoever is running that site ganked it off of my site.  Hi.

... but I'm more interested in seeing if this post ends up on Daniel's multiply site, like so many other people's posts that have been tagged "Harry Potter" or "Harry Potter Movie" have done.

Congratulations on your mad copy and pasting skills, Daniel.  I'd say you're a good writer, but I'm not sure how much actual writing you do and how much you steal from other people and take credit for yourself.

This is a Golfwidow post, and I ought to know, because I am Golfwidow and I wrote the silly thing.  If you see it at http://daniel67smith.multiply.com/journal, it's 'cos he or whoever is running that site ganked it off of my site.  Hi.

Items of note:

• I just got a pretty neutral rejection (they didn't say I suck, but neither did they offer any encouragement) on a bit of writing into which I had put quite a lot of work, not only in ensuring that its content was wonderful, its format was scrupulously correct, and that it met the needs of the company, but also in infusing it with all the positive energy in my power, in accordance with the guidelines from The Secret and A Charmed Life. I'm almost relieved that they didn't want it, in the sense that pushing all that positive "Today you'll be contacting me about how good I am and what my next step is with you to move forward with this project" was as much work as going to my job every day; now that they've told me they are completely not interested, I can cross that item off my several-times-daily-to-do list.
• One of the many people pontificating The Secret at me like they're the the Happiness Experts of All Time is getting a divorce.

I'm keeping this site, at least for now, and I'm going to keep giving to charity as I've been doing. I'll try to drum up some more paying work for in here. But I'm going to do it because it's a worthwhile exercise and it's the only way I can get enough money to give to charity, since I can't afford it on my existing budget.

I will no longer put a lot of faith into the ol' hocus pocus. Either good fortune will come to me or it won't. I'll work toward what I have control over and let go of what I don't.

If an opportunity presents itself, I'll be prepared. But if it doesn't, I won't blame myself. The Universe isn't here to give me everything I want, nor even anything I need. It's just here, and I'm in it.

Yay for that, anyway.

I'm still here.

I'm just trying to change tactics, considering that the Universe is continuing to smile on me, much in the manner that sharks smile on smaller fish.

However, I am incredibly thankful for this:

Nicked from The Listener
Mi larsenny. Let me show u it.