givin

I always feel a bit guilty about not caring enough about Jim Morrison.

I guess I'm kind of picky about what I consider artful and what I consider "throwing a bunch of half-assed doggerel together to complete the high school English assignment."

It's the same sort of guilt when I have to admit to very pompous people, who know far more than I do, that I don't find Ernest Hemingway's content particularly interesting, and I feel as though his style was designed purposely to talk down to me, and not to speak to me.

I think the reason that I have guilt about either of these is that they both died pretty stupidly. I can't figure out any other reason for their significance. Does bad writing and worse deaths really contribute so much to the shape of literature and literacy today?

Sending a postcard in to Postsecret is, indeed, incredibly freeing.

Having them publish it? Not so much.

Because it's like that priest who hits a hole-in-one on Sunday. Really. Who am I gonna tell?

Here's hoping that something I say in New York next weekend gets overheard and submitted to Overheard in New York, instead.

Because, you know. It's important to have goals.

I think I will do a meme here, just to make sure there's a bit more content that's entertaining to at least one reader.

If you're not familiar with my writing, I may as well tell you that I have only one rule about memes: I tag no one. If you'd like to play along, help yourself, but don't feel obligated.

Also, if you have been tagged by someone else for the same meme, and you don't feel like doing it, reading mine all the way through renders you immune.

Two rules.

Sorry, I'll come in again.

Wrote a Beer Haiku.
Sent it in to Beer Haiku.
And, whoop, there it is.

I feel the need to post something positive and uplifting about my efforts today, especially in light of the fact that the Bank, in wisdom infinite, decided that my Mad Money account was overdrawn by $1 (yes, that does say one dollar) and saw fit to charge me not one, but two overdraft fees, thus rewarding my efforts to be charitable and begin living a Charmed Life á la Victoria Moran with a charming debit of $70.

Thank you, the Universe. I owe you one.

Well, I still have no money, and the Universe is still peeing all over every glimmer of possibility I start to believe in, and the Public Radio Talent Questers still think I'm a thief.

However, I won a $5 Amazon Gift Certificate on Blingo.

Blingo, if you've never heard of it, is a totally free search engine, powered by Google, with the difference being that its sponsored ads and the fact that it's partnered with the Publishers' Clearinghouse mean that, randomly, you may go in to do a search and win a prize.

It doesn't cost you anything to use. And you can use it without joining, but it's better to join, because if you do, and then someone signs up under your referral, and they win something, you get one of whatever they got, too.

Hence the fact that all the links I'm putting up here are links that would get you started on registering under my referral.

But anyway, I won a $5 gift certificate, which isn't enough to buy anything and I can't yet combine it with my Mad Money to buy something at $5 off, due to the Mad Money having gotten angry and left.

But when the Mad Money comes back, I will buy something, probably a gift for someone else. Just to keep testing the Charmed Life factor and see how it progresses.

Also, because I won, so did Pesky, under whose referral I enrolled, so at least I was able to do that much for another person.

And, I won fifty credits by surfing Blog Explosion, which isn't money and cannot be donated to charity, but maybe that's some Charmed Life coming back to me a little bit.

I cannot help but feel more positive than I did yesterday.

Dear Public Radio Talent Quest:

I feel bad that you think I would be so deliberately dishonest. But you're nearly right. I had permission from [Paul] Velat to use any of his pieces on my podcast, but I didn't request separate permission to use them on this audition, and I certainly did neglect to credit him for it; and although the composition itself, by Rimsky-Korsokov, is uncopyrighted (which is why he himself chose to cover it), you are absolutely within your rights under the rules of the contest to disqualify me, and I deserve it.

That said, I would like to clarify your choice of the phrases "consists entirely" and "does not consist of any of your own work." I did use Velat's arrangement in the background, but the wording of my audition piece is entirely my own voice, in my own words, and I imagine, based on the poor reception it received from voters initially (including one person who labeled it "demonic") that Velat would be vastly insulted to have that part of the entry credited to him. That was absolutely my own work and not his.

I thank you for having at least offered me the opportunity to discover, very early on in this contest, that I am not cut out for the public radio industry and am nowhere near ready to perform for its audiences, nor yet would there be a place for me in that world. I do hope you will convey my apologies to anyone who thought I was silly enough to attempt plagiarizing my way into the field, and explain the above to them.

Sincerely yours,

Golf "Oh No Did Someone Really Get That Petty Over an Entry That Had No Chance in HELL?" Widow

---

Dear Public Radio Talent Quest:

It has come to MY attention that you haven't removed my profile from your website. If I am so very disqualified as you claim, why has this not happened yet?

Sincerely yours,

Golf "I'm Starting to Think That the Content Isn't What Makes Public Radio Suck So Much" Widow

---

On May 14th I received an email from [redacted; rhymes with Dick and a Stroke] advising me that my entry piece "[did] not consist of any of [my] own work" and was being removed from the site.

I replied that I had failed to credit the musician (though I had certain permissions from him to use his work) and agreed with my disqualification. I also expressed the hope that Mr. and a Stroke would explain to everyone involved that I had not deliberately attempted to plagiarize my way into the radio industry. I received no reply from him.

Meanwhile, I have come to learn that my profile has NOT been removed from the site and is still being hotly debated. Therefore, I can assume that Mr. and a Stroke also did not clarify that my "plagiarism" was unintentional and that I was not contesting my disqualification.

Obviously some people are raising their blood pressures and tempers over this topic a bit too much, and I would like to request that Mr. and a Stroke follow through with my disqualification and removal from the site AT ONCE.

Sincerely,

Golf "Will Everyone Please Get Over Themselves Now?" Widow

---

I did, finally, receive a reply from Dick and a Stroke on the 29th, assuring me that he had removed my audio piece but I was still more than welcome to use the profile.

What the hell for? was what I wondered. To encourage everyone to continue peeing their diapers?

I replied to his reply, asking him to please delete my profile, since I certainly wouldn't want to continue twisting everyone's knickers over what a filthy demonic thief they seem to think I am.

The contest had left the noxious flavor of "WTF?" in my mouth by the end of the very first week of voting. Some people's mothers never taught them to play nicely. I had no desire to continue in the race and had long since disengaged myself from it by the time I received the email that I had been kicked off the island.

I was, and am, very much "Who the hell cares?" about the entire experience, but I would like publicly to apologize to the Lord of the Yum Yum for forgetting to credit him on my audition piece.

I would also like to say that if you like to listen to the sort of people who would trash the competition in order to garner more votes and feel better about themselves, go to NPR. I'll be hanging around my podcast, myself, being me and having fun.

Oh, my gourd, there's MORE.

I read this blog post by a woman who got very supercilious about how all killing is wrong, from the smallest microorganisms all the way up to humans, and all the tasty bits of meat in between. She refused to hear any arguments to the contrary. Her opinion was not just an opinion, it was fact. Conversely, dissenting opinions weren't opinions either, they were lies.

So right now, her blog is loaded up with lovely pictures of cut roses in vases from her husband, who gave her roses over the holiday weekend and just got her two dozen more.

They will, of course, be DEAD in a couple of days. Did she not kill them, or at least have a hand in their respective demises?

I'm not questioning the motives behind her opinion. I actually find that kind of noble.

It's just her means of conveying it, really. I take offense at being told that my not agreeing with her means that I am wrong.

I guess I just sort of want to have the Triffids stop by her house and tell her they're there to defend their friends, the poor, dead roses.

I'm pretty sure this isn't how it's supposed to work.

I'm trying to give to charity whenever I can. Ten percent of what I have at any given time, plus all my loose change, I have been giving to good causes.

Instead of increasing my good fortune so that I can give more of myself, Fate is snatching away all of my possibilities, so that the charities are actually coming out ahead and I'm the one in the hole.

I want to sob at the unfairness of it all, but instead I'm going to keep plugging away at it, because, if nothing else, the charities ARE actually coming out ahead.

I'm hoping to put a few extra pennies into my Paypal account (and thence transfer them to my bank account) to avoid future overdrafts caused by being short by one lousy dollar due to having made a donation at the minimum amount permitted by the charitable organization in question. Yes, this happened; thanks so much, the Universe.

To that end, I have found a couple of pay-to-click sites. One is called Adbux, the other is GOT-2-PAY. They appear to work via the same means as Blog Explosion, except that, instead of visiting other people's blogs for at least thirty seconds, one must visit ads. Also unlike Blog Explosion, Adbux and GOT-2-PAY pay in pennies, literally.

Pennies are not great, but are accepted by charitable organizations. Blog Explosion credits, not so much.

This explains the respective referral programs for both sites pretty well, but is hooked specifically from the Adbux website:

At AdBux, you get paid to click on ads and visit websites. The process is easy! You simply click a link and view a website for 30 seconds to earn money. You can earn even more by referring friends. You'll get paid $0.01 for each website you personally view and $0.01 for each website your referrals view. Payment requests can be made every day and are processed through PayPal. The minimum payout is $10.00.

Earnings Example

• You click 10 ads per day = $0.10!
• 10 referrals click 10 ads per day = $1.00!
• Your weekly earnings = $7.70!
• Your monthly earnings = $30.80!

The above example is based only on 10 referrals and 10 daily clicks. Some days you will have more clicks available, some days you will have less. What if you had more referrals? What if there were more ads available?

JOIN NOW! It's Free!

The GOT-2-PAY one is essentially the same except that it's I think about 3¢ per click.

Obviously, I'm going to ask you to please register under my referrals.

I hope this works.

I hope something works.

I'm beginning to be very frustrated with all of my efforts at being positive, cheerful, and giving being rewarded by everyone and everything else being negative, critical, and selfish at my expense. It's the sort of thing that makes it a little difficult to Find My Happy Place.

I have decided to try to list things I am happy about every morning when I wake up. This is, I hope, going to offset my frustration at such "grrr" occurrences as the fact that I was supposed to be able to transfer $200 from our house account ($20 of said money already earmarked for a specific charitable organization) for my trip to New York today, due to my having sacrificed my Mad Money not once but twice to cover the mortgage.

And do we hear three times? Sold.

Fate, the people of Darfur just got hosed out of $20, thanks to your efforts.

Sigh.

Things I Am Happy About:

1. I still get to make my trip to New York.
2. My mother, who is the light of my life and I don't know what I would do without her, is going too, and I love spending time with her.
3. Not only did she, without thinking, insist that I go, she insisted that she would pay for everything.
4. She also offered to hand me some cash, surreptitiously, so my friends that we're meeting wouldn't see how destitute I am.
5. Oh! We're meeting new friends. That's a good thing. They're all blogfriends, except one, but I know her from her podcast, so it's almost the same thing.
6. We get to see one of my Real Life friends this morning. She was supposed to come with us, but she's not feeling well.
7. She still insisted on dropping us off and picking us up at the station, and having breakfast with us before we go.
8. My mother is going, and I don't have to worry about getting lost, because she has the innate sense of direction that I seem to have been born completely without.
9. My jeans fit. And not too snugly, either. Fit fit.
10. My hair is kind of cute. Not sure how it will hold up in New York humidity, but still. Cute.
11. I smell really good.
12. I'm not the one stuck in Connecticut babysitting my father whilst everyone else is having a good time. No, that'd be my husband.
13. I feel a lot worse about that than I ought to under the circumstances, but I am consoled by the fact that Fate (okay, Fate, I'll give you propers for this one) stepped in and made sure my mother was there to rescue me.
14. We're going to have French food in a fancy-schmancy bistro-ish place in the Village.
15. Did I mention my jeans fit?
16. I have a roof over my head still, and a home to come back to. We're probably going to see a lot of people without any of that, in New York.
17. I have painkillers if my knees start getting really bad whilst walking around.
18. We're going to one of the most interesting places in the United States, and we don't have to get on an airplane or show a passport to get there.
19. We're going to one of the most interesting places in the United States, and I might even have enough mental dexterity to write about it and convey what it was like, after I get home.
20. If I order a sandwich, it will come with cornichons. I love cornichons.

You are probably not going to believe this, but that worked amazingly well. I feel pretty damned awesome.

I mean, I totally forgot to be upset about the fact that it's raining.

Okay, I mentioned it here, just now, but I will offset it by sharing how much amusement I derived from the fact that, whilst I was taking my morning vitamins, I dropped a B-12 down the front of my cleavage and had to fish it out. Also to thank Fate for not letting that happen in public. So, rock.

Time to put on some makeup and start getting my good day on.

1. I walked way too much yesterday, and I'm horribly achy today, but I did manage it, without whining too too much or holding people up too too badly.
2. I got to meet some of the most fun people in the world, yesterday.
3. The TCM display at Grand Central Station. Seeing it online is nice, but being right there in front of it is magical.
4. Seeing the New York Public Library again for the first time in about a million years.
5. That tiny break dancer outside the library was so sweet he made my teeth ache. I gave him my ten percent for the day, and it was worth every penny.
6. We had a great breakfast and a great lunch, and my lunch portion was so huge that I was able to tote most of it home, eat the remaining fries for dinner, and still have half my baguette left over for today.
7. This conversation:
   
   The Mom: I showed my husband how to use it, but he wouldn't believe it till my son came over and showed him the same exact thing.
   Me: It's because you have no penis.
   The Mom: Why would I want one of those? They make you stupid.
8. Rosie, the Last Dog On Earth.
9. Being out of Connecticut, where it apparently rained all day long.
10. Not having to go out today if it decides to rain all day long again.
11. Quin understands the concept of Evil Golden Children who, if you get sick, they immediately have to get sicker because heaven forbid your being the center of attention for five lousy seconds.
12. Lisa understands the concept of leaving the house with smooth hair and having a Roseanne Roseannadanna explosion about five minutes later. Hair Wars: Revenge of the Humidity.
13. I can have a nap later. I spent a lot of years working weekends or carrying a pager that could go off any second. There's no end to the amount of appreciation I have for being able to nap, for no good reason other than that I can.
14. Everyone loved my fingernails.
15. I love my fingernails.
16. I petted so many cute dogs on Bleecker Street yesterday I felt like I was judging at Crufts.
17. Coming back to Connecticut, where there were just as many puddles, but none of them carried with them the distinct odor of eau du diaper.

1. As of today, I have officially outlived Marilyn Monroe.
2. Three more years and I'll have Anna Nicole Smith beaten as well.
3. I am None the Worse for Wear.
4. In fact, I am on my period, which ought by definition not to be on the list of happy, positive things (especially when you consider how much physical discomfort and inconvenience it creates for me) but if nothing else, it's a sign that everything's still working right.
5. My hair is pretty cute, again.
6. I'm wearing my pink shirt that makes my skin look so rosy.
7. I had a great weekend.
8. I'm going to have a lot of work to catch up, because I took Friday off, but I am smart, competent, and sufficiently good at time management that I'll probably have a good portion of it taken care of by the end of the day, even if more work shows up between now and then.
9. I'll have to talk to some stupid, rude people, but I'll also get to talk to Evelyn, Paul, and Gregg, who are always really nice to me.
10. There were tons of new ads on Adbux and Got-2-Pay today. I must have made twelve cents.
11. I always want to spell "Got-2-Pay" as "Got Toupee?"
12. My husband did the grocery shopping yesterday. Granted, he didn't tell me he was going, so there were a lot of things forgotten, a lot of things he didn't know we were going to need, and a lot of things we didn't need, but at least I have something with which to begin planning this week's menus.
13. Also (one of the things we didn't need), he got those new peanut butter Oreos. I don't know why everyone's wrinkling their noses up at that concept, particularly the same people who supposedly like Reese's. They remind one of crunchy Reese's.
14. Granted, I can't have Oreos with milk (best way to have them) unless I really want to aggravate my dairy allergy, but I did have them with a cream soda yesterday (didn't dunk 'em; I'm not that odd), and they tasted pretty fine to me.
15. I figured out who the Last Guy on Earth reminds me of: a young version of Roger Rees, who played Robin Colcord on Cheers. And let us say, mrwowr.
16. Young Frankenstein was on TCM last night. I love that freaking movie.
17. Mine is not the car in our lot with the front all crumpled up and the smashed headlight.
18. Nor is it the one with the side door that's crumpled in the same shape as the front of the car with the smashed headlight.
19. Nor am I the drunken driver of the front-crumpled car who actually believes our side-crumpled neighbor is going to look at that and say, Hrm, it will be a mystery forever as to who did this.
20. I didn't forget my best friend's birthday, yesterday. I couldn't afford to get her anything, and my life is kind of crazy, but remembering to shout out to her and make her feel special on her day didn't cost me anything at all.

... how easy these lists would roll once one starts to pick up momentum?

I imagine there will be mornings when I'm just not up for it. In fact, it's such nice sleep-weather this morning: the perfect temperature, not too much natural light in the room — I got ready for work and seriously considered just going back to bed till it was time to leave.

I figured, yes, I did want to try to do a wake-up happy-things list, but maybe I could do one in my head and write it down later.

Then I remembered that the office web filters would probably make it impossible for me to try to earn my daily nickel at Adbux and Got-2-Pay, so I sat down at the computer to look at the ads like a good scout.

After that, I went and clicked all the free charity links, because I am still Teh Broke.

Once that was done, I decided, as long as I'm here, might as well do my shining happy people list too.

1. I'm achy as hell but I can still walk. I really don't want to get to a point where I have to be pushed. That will suck. I'm not there yet. No suck.
2. My husband, who won't eat healthfully if it's my idea but will if he thinks it's his idea, bought a lot of lovely salad greens the other day, so yes, he's very smart, and yay, I get good salad.
3. Last night I was more in the mood for crap, because, as I mentioned, I'm in the beginning stages of my Delightful Few Days, and we went to Five Guys.
4. Again, had this been my idea, it would have been shot down. Mr. I Want to Eat Healthier suggested it, and I "meekly complied," which suited his Control Freak nature and my craving for french fries.
5. We had an awesome, albeit short, thunderstorm last night.
6. I got a lot accomplished at work yesterday.
7. With only one exception (which had no urgent deadline and I purposely left for today, so that I would feel less rushed working on it), anything that didn't get accomplished got held up not because of me, but because of someone else.
8. Without exception, the things that got held up because of someone else are all documented such that another party is witness to the reasons behind the delays.
9. I looked at the calendar and I think I might take July 3rd off, so I can have two days off for the 4th of July. Also, usually our town does fireworks on the 3rd (though last year, they did them in June. No one's really sure why). Anyway, another vacation day will be nice, and I won't be stuck in the office waiting for a ride home if they dismiss everyone early, as they often do the day before a holiday.
10. I always feel like I did a very smart thing by drinking all of my daily allotment of water. I do it so often I ought to stop looking at it as a big deal, but shit, I'm proud of myself. I drank my eight glasses yesterday and I rock.
11. And I'm going to do it again today.
12. Tonight is Taco Tuesday. He will not eat healthfully (meat and cheese and soft flour tacos), but I will make a taco salad with salsa and some of those nice greens (and yes, meat and cheese; I'm not immune), and avocado. Maybe beans, if I have some. He did the shopping, as we recall.
13. If I skip my pain meds, I will also have beer. That remains to be seen. Either way — if I get to have beer, that's a positive thing, and if I have pain and can take a pain pill for it, that's also a positive thing.
14. I think this blog might be getting enough substance in it to where I could, conceivably, start pimping it out for some professionally sponsored writing, and make some money. I will feel like so much less of a drain when I can put a little back where it belongs.

1. Everybody was accusatory and unsatisfied this past week, and I was put on the defensive all day, every day. However, nothing was, ultimately, my fault, and I think I covered my ass admirably and with a minimum of rantiness and bad attitude. At least, I hope I did.
2. My left knee was in agony most of last week as well, which meant that, despite hating to do it, I had to get up in the middle of the night and take something, so I have been coping with daytime medicine head. You may wonder how this winds up on my positive list. It's like the guy who hits himself with the hammer — it just feels so good when it stops. I'm not quite as sharp as I'd like, but I can walk.
3. Lynnda won a Blingo prize: another $5 gift certificate from Amazon. This does affect me, because she signed up under my referral, which means I get one too, just for sitting at work and being put on the defensive. I couldn't afford to get anything with the one I had, but maybe now that I have two I can combine them at some point.
4. I did my little wake-up-and-be-grateful every day, but I didn't have time to post it, because I had medicine head every morning and couldn't get motivated to move till it was time to get out the door and go do things to get paid. But that's almost like getting rest. And I did do it.
5. Today is Saturday, and I'm supposedly going to get to go shopping and possibly to lunch. I takes my fun where I can gets it.
6. Andy sent me, amongst other items, a penguin-shaped Zippo. I can just barely, if I hold it in two hands and push hard, work the thing with my sad-arsed arthritic hands, I don't smoke anymore, and I can't travel with it because lighters are hardly allowed on any public transportation anymore. He was probably happy to get rid of it. But I don't care, 'cos, hello, penguin; it's cute.
7. 
   Try not being positive with this for your desktop.

Inspired by Rainbofro's Grape Gum Post, I have decided to do a themed search post of my own:

Search term "Carolyn Porco":

• Edge: Carolyn Porco
• Carolyn Porco - Wikipedia
• CICLOPS Public Website
• Why Don't We Do It In the Road? (Carolyn Porco in front)
  (sensez o hyoomur - syentists haz dem)
• NOVA - Voyage to the Mystery Moon

I have heard it said that Jodie Foster based her performance in the film Contact on Carolyn Porco. I think that's very cool, if it's true.

1. My friends are awesome and made me feel much better about some of the things that have been depressing me lately. To a person, they insisted that the bad karma I'm experiencing is as baffling to them as it is to me, and if they're not seeing bad action on my part that needs to be corrected, then maybe it's not as, well, bad, as I think it is.
2. I got up the courage to ask my mother for some help on my Mad Money account. I won't ask her for house money — I got myself into that mess and it's up to me to get out of it — but the Mad Money can't be at a zero balance. I need a cushion, not for buying things, but for making sure I don't get hit with an overdraft when I do need to break into it. It was scary asking her, and I don't know yet if she'll say yes, but I cowboyed up and asked, which is the second worst part for me.
3. Accepting it will be the first worst part, but we'll cross that bridge when/if we come to it.
4. I had ice cream yesterday. Not a lot by anyone's standards, and I had to have Benadryl beforehand or risk an allergic reaction, which means I pretty much fell asleep right afterward, but the ice cream, it is so good.
5. I read somewhere that I should surround myself with the color green whenever possible in order to have my life start focusing on the areas (creativity, balance, generosity) that I want to make positive changes in. I like green.
6. I had mint ice cream yesterday.
7. This blog got accepted into a sponsored blog program yesterday, so I will put aside some time and start writing sponsored blogs very shortly.
8. I got spam in the podcast email account from James Dean. The subject said, "Waiting to hear from you." I said, "Keep waiting till you die. Oh, too late."
9. I would feel worse about that if I didn't believe that I'm in less trouble, karma-wise, than whomever took James Dean's name in vain to send spam in the first place.
10. It's Monday. Here's to making this week less stressful than last week was.

My dad wasn't much with it when he was with it, but now he's just about totally out of it.

Whatever it is.

Anyway, other people than myself are responsible for making the decisions as to his everyday care, feeding, grooming, medications, and making sure he doesn't wander off or hurt himself (or someone else).

I don't mean to make my dad seem like a pet. Difficult as he can be, if I were needed to take care of him, I'd do it without question.

My dad's different now than he was, but he was a wonderful father when I needed him, and I haven't forgotten that. I would do what it takes (again, whatever it is) to make sure he gets the care he requires.

I can't do that sort of thing myself. My own health is not so wonderful, and I already know that I have little to no patience. Also, I have no money, and being a full time caregiver is expensive and draining. I would be a miserable caregiver.

If anyone would need something like the Gilbert Guide, which is exactly like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but not for hitchhikers, and pretty much limited in scope right now to San Francisco senior homes, so pretty much exactly unlike The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it would be me.

I? Me? Myself? Which is it? Argh.

Don't Panic, as they say in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I'd need help, is what I'm saying. Not just in taking care of my dad, but in finding the right place for both of us, where I could be secure that he was getting the care he needs.

What a great idea, this Gilbert Guide. And yes, while they're not yet in Connecticut, they do cover the New York, Los Angeles, Dallas, and Philadelphia areas, as well as San Francisco.

They should think about hiring Ford Prefect to help them expand their scope, though. Aliens have dads to look after, too, and might not want to make a hyperspace jump to San Francisco on Father's Day.

This article is a Blog to Profit. Ten percent of the proceeds from this article will be donated to Connecticut Food Bank.

"What seems to be generosity is often no more than disguised ambition, which overlooks a small interest in order to secure a great one."
— Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Well, duh. I know I'm a selfish evil bitch. The best I can do is to make sure someone else benefits from it at the same time.

Welcome to the Good News from This World List for Today:

1. I had to call the bank today about an error they made, and while it won't be resolved for another twenty-four hours and I'll have to make yet another call after they take care of that, they had Gershwin for their hold music and I'll never get tired of Gershwin.
2. And they ARE resolving it. I cannot tell you how relieved I am.
3. My husband had $5 in his pocket yesterday. He gave $1 to the ubiquitous firemen collecting for the town's fireworks display and $1 to the MDA, then he took the rest into the convenience store and bought a diet Coke and a scratch-off ticket. The diet Coke quenched his thirst. The scratch-off won him $50.
4. We filled up the gas tank, gave another $5 to MDA, and had enough left to buy a couple of barbecue sandwiches at the Cookhouse, which is about the best place to get barbecue in our area, even if they did stop making the deep fried ribs.
5. When I got home, I checked my email and another site has offered me some paying blog article assignments, which I will accept most gladly.
6. I am making Jamaican beef tonight, which is one of my most delicious concoctions and you should be very jealous of my mad cooking skills. Ask your mom if you can come over for supper.
7. I saw Mike Rowe hosting a show on the History Channel whilst wearing a suit and tie. Furthermore, his face and hands were clean. I have never seen him looking so fine. Mrwowr.
8. I went to the Amazon website and found a used copy of Carl Sagan's Billions and Billions:: Thoughts on Life and Death at the Brink of the Millennium for $4 including shipping. I had a gift certificate for $5 from Blingo. Cost: FREE. Value: PRICELESS.
9. My friend's daughter graduated from high school yesterday. She'll be going to Southern to get her degree in history: she wants to teach. She's also a great writer.
10. Furthermore, my friend's sister had a baby on Tuesday. He's an uncle for the first time.
11. I had had no idea she was pregnant, and I said, "Why didn't you tell me? I could be the father and not even know it." Then I congratulated myself inwardly on being so bloody clever.

The Glasgold Group isn't just some corporate New Jersey plastic surgery conglomerate. It is, literally, a group of Glasgolds.

Dr. Alvin Glasgold has been in practice for about forty-six years, now, and they do say that practice makes perfect. He founded the Group over twenty-five years ago and performs all of the most requested facial aesthetic procedures, but his specialties are primary and revision rhinoplasty and facial implants.

His sons, Mark and Robert Glasgold, are also board-certified facial plastic surgeons. Mark is an internationally recognized expert in the rejuvenation of the aging face, specifically the facelift and facial fat transfer, and Robert specializes in primary and revision rhinoplasty and facial rejuvenation procedures, including blepharoplasty (you know, the one that reshapes your eyelids so you don't look like a basset hound anymore), facelifts, and facial fat transfer. He also has expertise in "minimally invasive facial rejuvenation procedures," which I'm guessing means Botox or lasers.

Mind you, if you're in central Jersey and you'd rather have a Zbar than a Glasgold, you can still go to the Glasgold Group. They aim to please.

Seriously. Dr. Ross Zbar, a board-certified plastic surgeon, became associated with the Glasgold Group Plastic Surgery in 2000, helping to extend the practice’s offerings to include breast augmentation and surgical body contouring. He also holds board-certification in head and neck surgery from the American Board of Otolaryngology-Head & Neck Surgery, and from the American Board of Examiners.

One stop beauty shopping if ever I've seen it.

Most importantly, from what research I've done on the Glasgold group, they appear not only to have a really good reputation in terms of their medical skills and successes, but also in their professionalism, particularly in helping their patients make the right decisions for their appearances and well-being.

The "before" and "after" pictures sort of speak for themselves. And what they're saying to me is, damn, if I ever get to where I can afford that sort of vanity, I know who I'm gonna get to sculpt my fat ass.

This article is a Blog to Profit. Ten percent of the proceeds from this article will be donated to Connecticut Food Bank.

Some of these actually happened yesterday, when I did write this, but didn't have time to post it before work.

1. The department of the bank with which I had to finish resolving the error they made opens at 7:00 am, not 9, so I was able to get it all taken care of before I had to leave for work.
2. It's Saturday, which is the first of two delicious work-free days. (If you have spent as many years working holidays and weekends as I did, you'd appreciate having two back-to-back lazy days as much as I do.)
3. It's looking like pretty nice weather.
4. GMail was down for a few hours yesterday, which pissed me off mightily, till I realized that the reason I was so angry was that, in the three years I've had it, this is maybe the second time it wasn't available when I wanted it. No other email service, including my work email, has been that consistently reliable.
5. As soon as GMail was back up, I sent an email to Quin to get her new snail mail address, and today I will send her some mail. Getting mail that isn't bills is awesomeness.
6. Dion DiMucci, you still rock our worlds. Even if you're basically feeding an already overfed ego with your new song about Paris Hilton.
7. Speaking of Dions, Hilary Clinton, without a hint of irony, has selected a Celine Dion song as her campaign song. I'm not sure why this is on my Positive List, unless it's just knowing that she picked the song that she felt right about (as opposed to the song I suggested: Elton John's The Bitch is Back, but meant, as I explained in my comments, in the nicest possible way).
8. We should be going to eat at I'll Take Manhattan tonight, if all goes to plan. I've been twice and had different sandwiches each time. I'm aiming for a third.
9. I've been given inside scoop that Del Monte Bloom Energy Beverage Fizzy-Lifting Drink is delicious and as soon as I find some, I'm going to try it. I'm always on the lookout for new fizzy-lifting drinks.
10. I got used and abused yet again yesterday, and I still got every ass kicked and every name taken before the week ended.
11. I had a good long email exchange with a close friend who said, quote, "I still believe in you, kiddo." That goes a long way toward positivity.
12. I sent a picture of myself to the territory managers on the left coast with a message that said, "This is what I look like when I'm putting out your fires."
13. One of them sent back a message saying, "Why do you have on a tiara?" and I replied, "Tcha — because I rule."
14. That Cajun crunchy mix from Le Mart du Wal is delicious by itself, but I'm thinking recipes. A little rice, a little sausage, a little chicken, some Peppadews™, nice.
15. Facebook has free gifty-icons now. You don't have to pay $1 to send a cute picture to someone.

My mother and I recently made a day trip to New York City to meet some blogfriends, eat some fancy-schmancy French food, walk around like tourists, and laugh uproariously.

Good times, that.

In our walking aroundedness, we wandered through a delightful street fair in the West Village, where we saw just about every type of individual one would care to describe.

Everywhere else in the world, you might witness interested spectators. In New York City, you see interesting spectators.

And dogs.

I patted about a hundred dogs, from scruffy mongrelly beloved pups to fastidious snooty-looking, fresh from the dog grooming salon, giving "bitch" a new name, better dressed than I was, pedigreed pets.

They all wag their tails happily at the attention.

Me, I felt like a judge at the AKC.

And from the shiniest coated show-class Maltese to the sweet natured Rottie whose owner asked if we could buy his dog something to eat, they were all beautiful.

This article is a Blog to Profit. Ten percent of the proceeds from this article will be donated to Connecticut Food Bank.

A horrible tragedy has occurred that has left me stunned, though I am not such a hardcore reader of the blogger whom it affected. One doesn't have to be. One doesn't even have to be a parent.

I can't imagine what this man and his family are going through. I can only describe my own perspective, and to do so in the face of their grief strikes me as too narcissistic and selfish even for me, so yeah, no.

My heart goes out to them. Should you have means and desire to help them financially, you may find details at http://www.avitable.com/2007/06/22/for-dawg/, who has set up a nice thing where it's obviously not an organizational-based, tax-deductable charity, but where you can purchase a $5 web button (so you're getting at least a little something for your money), and 100 percent of the purchase price is going into a fund for DJ's parents.

Turns out I have exactly $5.00 in my Paypal account.

I'm going to go buy me a button.

That purchase is going to be number one on my Positive List for today. I can't bring the Puppy Monster back, but I can join others in lightening the financial burden.

1. I had exactly, exactly $5 credit available in my Paypal account. I did not spend it on myself. I feel, not good about where I had to send it, but glad and relieved I was able to help, if only a little bit.
2. My husband took me to the post office yesterday, where I got a cute postcard for the mighty Quin.
3. Then, to my surprise, he took advantage of the nice weather to drive around a bit, stopping when I wanted to stop and listening to my suggestions and conversation. I was tempted to say, "Who are you and what did you do with my husband?"
4. I woke up far too early yesterday, and couldn't fall back asleep, but I managed to get a nap in, yesterday afternoon.
5. Then I went out to dinner with my mother and my friend. We did, in fact, go to the deli. I really love that place. It's comfortable, clean, good food and good service.
6. I have leftovers for today's lunch. Including my pickle. (I am a pickle pushover. I'm not sure why that is, but I'm fairly certain I come by it honestly.)
7. It took a while, as usual, for me to fall asleep last night, but I did sleep through, with the exception of a bathroom run. I drink a lot of water. If I don't wake up and pee, the consequences will be dire.
8. My best friend, who's been kind of blowing me off lately, sent me an email the other day of the sort that only makes sense to two people: herself and me. Also, she sent me one of those cute little free Facebook icon gifty-thingies. Yay not getting blown off.
9. I don't have a single thing on my agenda for today other than relaxing, and I intend to throw myself wholeheartedly into said task.

I wrote about the Glasgold Group, which is in New Jersey, the other day.

If you are in Florida, it's kind of a haul to come up to Jersey for a nose job.

So I dug around (sorry) and found out a little about rhinoplasty in Miami and the south Florida area.

Dr. Andres Bustillo's website is practically an encyclopedia of the procedures he performs and the questions he answers during his consultations with his patients. A wealth of information is available; I was astounded at how much knowledge this practice is not only willing, but apparently eager, to share.

It's rather refreshing, in a day and age where, when you do find such detailed information on the web, it's more often from patients who have experienced the procedures than from the doctor himself. The doctors' websites usually post a little, then say that, if you want to know more, you should make an appointment for a consultation.

Obviously, this is a smart idea ... but I still like the concept of a doctor who's willing to take the mystery out of rhinoplasty in general and rhinoplasty in Miami in particular. It's sort of saying, "I'd prefer you choose me as your surgeon, but if you're going to go elsewhere, make sure you know what to ask and what to expect."

This article is a Blog to Profit. Ten percent of the proceeds from this article will be donated to Connecticut Food Bank.

I quit smoking nearly five years ago.

I'm not going to pretend it was easy, nor am I going to pretend it was as difficult as I have heard kicking other addictions can be.

But I can say that I do know what it's like, from the inside, to try so hard to give up something that is ruining you, draining you, scarring you and stealing your money and your soul, but feels so good at the same time that you not only don't know how to stop, you don't necessarily want to.

I quit smoking because a friend of mine had to quit for a surgical procedure. No one should have to do that alone.

If you are in the San Diego area and you or someone you care about needs to stop doing something that feels so bad and so good at the same time, and doesn't want to stop, and can't stop alone, a directory of San Diego drug rehabs is available online that gives you an idea of what each one has to offer.

The main commonality between all the treatment centers is that they don't want people to have to go through it alone, without the tools they need to keep themselves clean and healthy from now on. You can't ask for more than that.

This article is a Blog to Profit. Ten percent of the proceeds from this article will be donated to Connecticut Food Bank.

1. I had a really good weekend.
2. It looks like it's going to be a pretty day today.
3. C&C Black Cherry Soda is extremely black-cherryish.
4. People keep telling me I need to read The Secret. I know the secret. If someone can tell me that it's about something other than that thinking about stuff attracts more of the same stuff you're thinking about (think about positive stuff to get positive stuff; dwell on negative stuff and you'll keep getting negative stuff), I'll go ahead and read The Secret.
5. Till then, I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing: saving my money and not buying books, whilst pretending I'm already very serene, healthy, successful, and rich.
6. Oh, and I made my own visualizing tool on my PC, using Photoshop, so I don't need to buy a $25 workbook, either.
7. I'll make one for you, if you want one. Not for free. You'll need to make a $10 donation to the charity of your choice in my name.
8. I am fully aware that, since I post a lot of my dreams, ambitions, and desires online, I'm not keeping them secret, but I'm not one hundred percent convinced that "you shouldn't tell or it won't come true." That's okay for birthday candles, but for people who want to be successful writers, it might be more useful if someone who can help a writer could actually see that I'm a writer who needs some help.
9. Care2 keeps sending me butterflies, 'cos I'm making a difference with my little free clicks.
10. Whether I'm dealing with an active volcano, fugitives, aliens, or crazed country-western fans, I want Tommy Lee Jones on my side.

1. http://www.dlmwine.com/journey/generations.html. Yep, Journey-branded wine. Label autographed by the current members and proceeds going to the Bay Area Make-A-Wish Foundation. This appeals both to my sense of "yay, charity" and "yay, retro."
2. I found a site, http://www.charitynavigator.org/, that evaluates charities so you know how popular they are, how much of their proceeds gets channeled properly, and so forth. This is going to be a huge help to me.
3. I got a story accepted at Six Sentences. No pay, but exposure is always good, and the sitemaster was very praising of the piece I submitted. It'll be posted mid-July; I'll put up a link when it's up. UPDATE: It's up. Here is the link.

I think that's about all I have time for this morning. I cut it kind of closely, timewise.

1. It's going to be hazy, hot, and humid again today, but that's good, because it means it'll be a humongous relief when the weather breaks. They're saying tomorrow on the news, but my bones say tonight.
2. My friend Nicole sent this quote: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss said it. I love it a lot.
3. Giant Penguins. Hell, it just feels good to say it.
4. I heard that Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films, not only bought as his vehicle a stocked ice cream truck, but said in an press conference that, should acting not pan out for him, he'd still have the ice cream to fall back on.
5. A reviewer contacted me and asked me if I'd like for him to review my book. I went to his website and found he had a list of "accepted genres," none of which my book fell comfortably within, and a mission statement that says he does not sugarcoat. I wrote back to him and told him that my first-time-published fragile ego is in no position to take a scathing hit from a reviewer whose personal preferences require a thrilling plot, and I'd prefer to take my scathing hit from him when I finish my novel, where, if he does hit me with the scathing, at least I'll know it's because I did something legitimately wrong, writingwise, as opposed to his not getting it. I felt pretty good about being honest with him.
6. He replied that, if my writing skills are as good in my books as they are in my emails, I have a chance for a highly successful future in writing.
7. I heard a rumor that they've found Hatshepsut. If they have, Zahi Hawass will have to announce it sometime today. That means a cool Discovery or History Channel documentary will be coming up soon.
8. Also, Josh has a new episode of Digging for the Truth coming next month: Sodom and Gomorrah. Notice how I refer to Josh by his first name, like we're buddies. I'm not sure why I do that.
9. Lee asked me if I was a Browncoat and I said I never got a chance, because I kept missing Firefly and finally, it got cancelled before it had a chance. I said I thought I might be a Keeper (reference to Kingdom Hospital) but if I am, I'm the only one. But it occurs to me that, since I know what a Browncoat is, yeah, I might actually be one, just not hardcore.

I'm cutting my time too closely again. I have to start getting up even earlier than I already do.

1. The first sentence in Billions of Billions by Carl Sagan is "I never said it." This is gonna be a good book.
2. The weather did break last light. My bones don't lie.
3. I won ten credits on Blog Explosion. first thing this morning.
4. I finally finished reading all of Deni Bonet's archives back to the very first entry of her blog. I have been reading her since April 2, 2005, but she started writing in December of 2004 and I needed to backtrack. Funny lady — and far more interesting than Paris Hilton.
5. Speaking of whom ... I wish it weren't the top story in today's news (and I kind of wish she'd continued to go with the minimalist, sweet makeup she used coming out of jail instead of switching back to full-on war paint), but I'm ready to give Paris Hilton the benefit of the doubt. She persists in pointing out that we don't know the real her. (Of course we don't. We only know the one she presented to us. If that's not real, is that our fault?) If she truly shows a change in her life at this point (I never perceived her as a druggie or a drunk as much as a skank, a societal drain, and a dingbat) I will apologize for all the bad things I thought about her.
6. On the other hand, Time Magazine did a count of how many times Paris Hilton said each word she used in her interview with Larry King. She doesn't appear to have used the words "learn" or "give" at all. She used the word "I'd" four times, "I'm" thirty-three times, "me" forty times, "my" sixty-one times, and "I" two hundred eighty-five times.
7. On the other, other hand, we as the viewing public asked for it, didn't we?
8. Not that I watched it. There was a twenty year-old documentary about Gershwin on PBS and I was all over that. It was awesome. After that, I just read my new book till 10:00 pm, when I watched reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway? till I dozed off. Options rock.