fighting for air

This is such a beautiful gift for our Cosmic. Aren't we lucky to have had her in our lives?

[I would even venture to say that she saved my life. -- GW]

sad

[The worst part is that I keep finding silly stuff online where, as has been my habit for years, my first instinct is to forward it to her. Every time this happens, I get another kick in my guts. -- GW]

I'm sorry to hear this... big hugs...

[Thanks, Julie. Like you, she was a frequent phone-in back in the Podcrapular heyday, and I think you guys would have enjoyed the hell out of each other in real life. -- GW]

You're right, she would see the irony in that. But she would also love all the things we've been posting about her, even though they would probably embarrass her. We can keep the Cosmicrayola spirit alive by seeing the silly in things, not judging other people, and being supportive of our friends. That was her way, and it should be ours.

[I know it's irreverent of me, but I can't help imagining her getting to the Pearly Gates and telling Saint Peter to let her in quickly because she's been wanting to tell off Michael Jackson for years. -- GW]

Oh, right, Beanie! My first thought, on reading Terry's post, was "you can have Michael, but don't take Karen!"

[As much as I shall miss her (and already do), I'd rather have her not be in any more pain and discomfort. She's been through enough in this life. -- GW]

I too met her through a DL banner ad -- and I went on ebay and bought her 3 tube tops and sent them to her. We've talked on the phone and when she was in DC for JournalCon, I met her and she was all she was cracked up to be.

I will miss her.

A lot.

[Me too. -- GW]

i'm sorry. i'm sure there are tons more words i can search for and find, but, those two come to mind and stay there.

i hope she pops jackson one for me...

[Something tells me she's going to have words for Billy Mays, too. -- GW]

I am also saddened beyond belief. She was one of my very first D-Land buddies, and she remained true. She set her course for friendship and she never veered. We are all blessed to have known her.

[I can't put into words everything that changed for me because of Cosmic. Without her, I'd never have been so faithful about trying to write every day, or to quit smoking, and I'd never have had the courage to write a book. -- GW]

It's terrifically hard to find good friends. It's a great sadness to lose them.

I'm sorry to hear of her passing. As you said, she may have well saved your life. Not many people touch us in such a profound way, inspire us to take a hard path. She must have been an amazing person.

[One of the years that I could afford to donate to your cancer walk, I had you put her name on your shirt. She was incredibly impressed by you. -- GW]

The loss of a dear friend is never easy to swallow, and she, her family, and you are in my thoughts, Golfie.

I am so glad that That Man of Yours will never have to post something so heartbreaking on your page. Keep that ticker going strong.

[My lungs are clean, and apart from being completely broken right now, my heart's okay too. -- GW]

You've been in my thoughts right alongside Cosmic. I know the irony sucks huge monstrous something, but you know what? The fact that your quitness stuck is a tribute to her like no other. How many of us have struggled to give up a crappy habit (I know I have and do!), or get a loved one to do the same, and it doesn't work? Well, yours did, both because she is her and because you are you. Big hugs.

[Thanks. I needed that a lot. -- GW]

I didn't realize. I haven't been reading lately, though now some of the old notes make more sense. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family and friends ...

[I imagine Cosmic would probably say "The more the merrier" at this point. -- GW]

Oh bloody hell.

[Pretty much, yeah. -- GW]

I wept after reading this. Cosmic is very ucky to have you as a friend and so am I.

[I was the lucky one. Cosmic meant more to me in the short time I had her in my world than other people I have known for my entire lifetime. -- GW]

My heart broke too, when I read Terry's post. I met Karen at JournalCon DC and felt immediately that we were friends. I'll miss her terribly.

[She made me feel at home on Diaryland when I was still very much a newbie to the format, and I imagine I'm not alone in that sentiment. -- GW]

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

[Back at you, and I loved your tribute to her as well. -- GW]

I am so sorry for her & Terry, the Children & Grandchildren. Cigarettes took my Mom from this planet, so I know how senseless it must feel.

[My father is probably going to go similarly; he smoked for about twenty-five years longer than Cosmic and would start again this second if his oxygen tank wouldn't blow up.

Because I quit when I did (thanks largely in part to Cosmic), I won't subject my family to this kind of pain, and I'm at least grateful for that. -- GW]

I was deeply saddened by the news of Karen's passing.

[The only thought giving me any solace is imagining her saying, in her broad New England accent, "Trust Michael Jackson to steal all the thundah from my grand exit." -- GW]

This was a wonderful post about Cosmic. She was one of my first blogging friends way back in the Diaryland days. She had common sense and humor - the perfect combo. I'm glad to have know her and so grateful that I got a chance to meet her during that get together in Connecticut. She will be greatly missed.

[I still haven't wound my brain all the way around the truth. I got one of those emails today that you forward to twelve strong women and I had to go back and take her name out of the "TO:" field. -- GW]

I wish I had known her longer, I think that is one of my greatest regrets...that and the fact that I no longer had unlimited minutes and I couldn't call and talk to her or Terry anymore.

[I think my biggest regret was all the stuff we had sort of talked about doing before I left New England: getting together for a joint book signing in Westerly or Salem, going to Foxwoods .... life kept getting in the way and I shouldn't have let it.]

I do hope Terry is going to be OK, I was so worried about him when he was ill in December, and Karen was scared that he wouldn't make it. Sometimes I hate irony.

[She's just always been so strong, as long as I've known her ... I'm sort of shocked, like, Cosmic gave up? COSMIC???]

Hugs to you!

[Thanks. I'm hugging you back. -- GW]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Cosmic's family.

[Thanks. I hope you're doing okay too, by the way. -- GW]

i'm sorry for all the pain in the world. if the world only exists in our minds, then we're all crazy.
i never liked smoking cigarettes, even when i smoked them.

[I have to believe that the world exists for some higher purpose but that that purpose is not intended for us. We're just byproducts of that existence. If I didn't believe that, I would not be able to reconcile the amount of pain the world loves to put us through. -- GW]

while i am thinking about it- (and it hurts to take a deep breath since i had surgery a week ago)- while i'm thinking about it, i am grateful i don't have to fight for a breath. i take my breathing for granted, like ocean waves or the thought that tomorrow will still come. breathing without thought is a blessing.

[I got a cold shortly after I first quit smoking, and it was a while before I realized that it had stopped hurting to breathe when I woke up in the mornings. -- GW]

the existence of a higher purpose surely exists. although, the purpose may not be an "intelligent" one. i suspect that purpose, like trickle-down theory or mother nature, looks better on paper than it is in reality.

[It's the holiday weekend. Surely we shouldn't be hurting our brains with this when we could be hurting our brains with beer. -- GW]