ay-yi-yi-max

When I was a kid (owing to the fact that no one in our neighborhood was flush with cash) our Mom's would stuff out pockets with candy to smuggle into the theaters! And they didn't melt--that's the amazing thing! :D)

[We used to bring in cans of soda and bags of Smartfood in our oversized hobo bags, but now they search you (ostensibly trying to keep you from creating bootlegs of the film with a camcorder or cell phone).

When my dad was young and food was permitted from outside, he would bring in hamburgers or ice cream. -- GW]

Comment 1: Your grandfather taught you to eat cupcakes that way, didn't he?

[Not quite. He didn't eat the frosting, he just handed it to me (note to other readers: he was diabetic). But yes, breaking the frosted bit off originated with my beloved Grampa.]

Comment 2: Do you think TMOY would have bought you a drink if he weren't thirsty?

[Yes, he would, because he will buy anything if he's absolutely sure we DON'T need it. (If I'd said, "I'm thirsty," he'd have asked if I had enough money to buy my own diet Coke.)]

Comment 3: Your father -- before I knew him, but he told me -- used to bring pints or even quarts of ice cream to the movies when he went alone, because he had plenty of time to eat it. And he still likes it half melted.

[He once told me that he learned to like it melted or partly melted "in the old days" - because it hurt his teeth. I felt like I had learned an awful lot about him in that one sentence. -- GW]

I eat cupcakes and muffins the very same way! We must share DNA.

[Top-breaker-offers, represent. -- GW]

I eat cupcakes and muffins the very same way! We must share DNA.

[Or split a crumpet gene. -- GW]

And I won't say that a third time! I promise!

[Eh, the more, the merrier. -- GW]

i hated high school. i hated all the guys in my high school. i don't fantasize about any of them. i haven't kept in touch with any of them. i couldn't wait to get away from there.
i moved from idaho to california.

[I don't fantasize about them. I don't even think about them except after I've had that dream.]

sometimes i hear about someone from high school getting arrested or cheating on his wife or whatever. one disappeared.
nobody in my highschool, to my knowledge, won a nobel prize or appeared on oprah.

[One girl who tortured me from grammar school onward died of a drug overdose. I don't wish ill on anyone, but I did remember thinking, "It couldn't have happened to a nicer person."]

hey! i've eaten a cupcake like that: bottom first. but i take off at least half the frosting. and i hate sprinkles (I take those off too).

[I have never in my travels met anyone who hated sprinkles. Though I will admit preferring the non-pareil type to the waxy "jimmies."]

i like coke better than pepsi. diet coke. i sneak it into the theatre, unless i'm in the mood for popcorn. i buy the kids pack. it comes with coke, and costs less than a small stand-alone popcorn. bonus: i don't have to share. it's too small for two.

[I never have to share popcorn, either. I like butter and salt; That Man of Mine doesn't. Also, I like to (take an antihistamine and) throw a handful of Sno-Caps into my popcorn to get all melty.]

i don't like sharing my cupcakes either.

[If I had two cupcakes I'd give you one, and if I had two boyfriends, I'd give you the other cupcake. -- GW]

ps. no, i'm not the one who disappeared. although, if it had been me, nobody in my high school would have noticed.

[Don't sweat it. No one in my high school would have noticed I was gone, either. -- GW]

Ha, as one of my many varied jobs I managed a movie theater. And the concession prices are a complete and total rip off but it's actually the main way movie theaters make their money. Most of the box office profit goes straight to the movie companies (at least for my old company it did.) And the percentage varied by week, but the concessions went completely to the theater, which is why they rip you off so much and are such asses about outside food and drink.

Even today, when I go to movies free (which I do, a lot, thanks to still knowing people in the business) I always try to buy some concessions to help their per-cap.

[I'd probably be more tolerant of it if they'd pause the movie when I have to have a wee.]

And also I'm kind of sad that theaters are going digital and moving away from reels. There was something beautiful about watching until the reel ran out and hearing the thumpthumpthumpthump of the film.

[I commented on this last year, when we went to see a movie during a kid's birthday party, and it was a digital theater but they still had the kid say, "Roll 'em!" as opposed to "Click 'PLAY." -- GW]

I really miss working in a theater sometimes. You'd get to preview the movie and bring in any kind of food you wanted and you could stop the movie if you ran to the booth really fast.

[You have my attention. Can one make a living at such a job? Because I would be All. Over. That. -- GW]

My sister is just a "team leader" but she's making more than I did when I was an assistant. I'm a huge push over though and didn't push for raises.

It's decent money, here, but honestly? Depending on the companies you have there, you could probably just work the weekends doing box or whatever and get free movies (as a perk) and depending on the manager and such get to preview movies, depending. That was a lot of ands.

[I should look into it. I need more money. -- GW]

Shut up! That is exactly how I eat a cupcake!!!

How do you eat a hamburger? I eat around the circle and save the juicy middle for the end. Do you?

[If I'm eating a burger or a steak on a plate, yes, I totally spiral in. If I'm eating a round burger on square or oblong bread, ditto. But traditional burgers on round buns ... see, I don't have a really tight grip, what with the arthritis. The top bun falls off if I try to rotate it. So I wrap the bottom in a napkin (or the fast food wrapper if I didn't cook it) and kind of arc back and forth as far as I can, turn it over in the napkin, and repeat. Keep rotating till it's gone.

I know. I'm WEIRD. But restaurants like Fatburger, Carl's Jr, and In-N-Out understand me - they use an extra half-wrapper just for messy weirdos. -- GW]

If I had two cupcakes I'd give you one, and if I had two boyfriends, I'd give you the other cupcake.

LOL. That is one of the funniest things (and there have been many funny things) you have ever written!
I hope you remember to include it in your next book!

[It's not original. It's a traditional yearbook inscription composed some years before I was even born. Probably around the time the Mom herself was in high school. -- GW]

Hi, I thought I'd drop in and steal some ad space.

[Ooh, bad news, buddy. I am poor and, if you'd like to advertise here, you have to pay me. Otherwise, I change your content to suit myself and change your URL to the Amazon page for my book. -- GW]